The Secrets Between Us | ✓

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Beads of perspiration dripped down Anaya's forehead, tracing a path along her neck and the hollow between her breasts. She had a sudden urge to strip off her clothes, but she knew her co-workers wouldn't appreciate her indecent display. Letting out a frustrated groan, she made her way to the restroom and stared at her reflection in the mirror. She looked completely washed out, with dark circles underneath her eyes and her skin paler than usual.

She splashed water on her face and dabbed the water droplets away with her tattered handkerchief before walking back to the kitchen.

The kitchen was small, with barely enough space for eight people, and the heat was intolerable. She felt like a chicken roasting in the oven, and others definitely shared her feelings, but the restaurant supported them financially to some degree, and that was enough.

"Hunter's chicken and vegetable paella, table no. 3," one of her co-workers notified, jolting her out of her never-ending thoughts.

She swallowed the lump down her throat and nodded. "Bringing right up!"

Some days, like today, a strong desire to give up, leave everything behind, and live a different life consumed her, a life of peace and comfort. But when she thought about all those people who were struggling every minute of their lives to get a piece of bread, she realized her misery was nothing in comparison to their privation.

She willed herself to not think about the future which was nothing but a harsh blow to her pathetic present; to where she was and where she'll never be.

At least she was doing what she loved. Cooking always provided her with an immense amount of joy. She found solace in the aroma of spices and herbs.

It was nearly midnight when the last of the customers left. She let out a breath of relief and slumped on the chair, but to her utter disappointment, the manager barged in and ushered them out with a hard glare in her direction.

"Anaya! Get back to work if you don't want to lose your job." She could see the irritation swirling in the depth of his eyes.

She flinched in response.

It had been two years, but there was no change in his behavior whatsoever.

At the beginning of her arrival, he had been sweet like sugar, always kind and helpful to her. Other employees knew he liked her and even voiced their thoughts several times, but she dismissed their comments, thinking it was nothing.

How naïve of her.

One night, after closing the restaurant, he expressed his feelings and asked her to be his girlfriend. Taken aback by his sudden confession, she was at a loss for words. She didn't want to reject him, but she was scared. So, at the moment, she did the first thing that seemed right. She ran away.

Could she be blamed, though? As a child who grew up with coldness surrounding her, she had come to terms with loneliness over a period of time. The prospect of opening up and being vulnerable to someone was terrifying.

The next few days were quite awful as she tried to hide from him, but it was futile since she worked in his restaurant. Eventually, she mustered up the courage and apologized to him as politely as she could. She made it clear that he wasn't at fault. She simply wasn't ready for a relationship.

Unfortunately, he couldn't get past the rejection, and all she felt was hatred ooze out of him. Bruising a man's ego was apparently a bad idea.

She jumped out of the chair and grabbed a dishcloth in response. Other workers had already started wiping the tables, so not wasting any more time, she did her part. At the end of the day, all this made her want to weep, but money was what she desperately needed.

Sometimes she felt like she was cursed because, unlike her co-workers, she did have a degree in computer science, but she wasn't able to find a proper job. Her rent was due for three months and though this restaurant paid enough, food and recent hospital bills didn't leave much for other things. She didn't know what to do. Being an orphan, she didn't have any help in her life.

As far as she remembered Aunt Anita's words, she was three years old when she was found sitting outside the orphanage door, draped in a fluffy pink blanket, looking like the cutest angel. Aunt couldn't see anyone around so she took her in. She had always been a mother figure since then, the sweetest and kindest lady Anaya had ever met.

Growing up with other kids, she was never left alone, but that didn't mean she was happy. She was disturbed, her mind was full of questions. She always wondered why her parents abandoned her. She still does.

When adoption month began, she waited for someone to come for her who she could call Mom and Dad. And many did. They'd want her as soon as they'd see her; after all, she was easy to love and a disciplined child for her age, but the very next day, they'd adopt some other kid. It hurt, it hurt a lot.

Aunt Anita found it odd, but she could do nothing about it. She was kind enough to send her to school, and when Anaya got a job at this restaurant, she used the little salary to join the community college. Eventually, she moved out of the orphanage and lived alone in a flat. But when she couldn't afford to pay, the landlady rented the same to other girls.

She felt suffocated sometimes, for having to share the place but again, she had no choice. It was better though, better than those silent, empty days.

They all worked as waitresses in the Midnight Street bar and were more well-off than her. They even offered her to join them, but she preferred steering clear of drunkards.

She still went to see Aunt Anita every Sunday, and she knew she could ask her for some money, but she didn't want to burden her or anyone anymore.

"You can go now, but don't be late tomorrow, or else I'll fire you." Her manager was yet again being ridiculous and annoying. She was only late by two minutes but who cared, right? It looked like he just needed a reason to throw her out but if he did, his eyes would be deprived of the pleasure of seeing her every day.

She nodded silently and rushed to the changing room. She dumped the apron inside the locker and grabbed her bag before leaving.

A sigh escaped her lips when the cool night air hit her flesh, making her feel free and slightly cheerful.

It took her only about ten minutes to reach her building. She unlocked the door and entered the cramped flat. Her roommates were all huddled in the hall room, as usual, their eyes glued to the TV and half-eaten plates in their hands which made her realize she hadn't had dinner tonight.

"Hey, I have saved some for you. Go grab it and join us," Laura said, gesturing to the take-out package on the counter.

Her stomach growled at that exact moment but thankfully nobody heard. She knew she would not be able to stomach the food when all she wanted to do was close her eyes. "I don't feel like eating. Too tired." Stifling a yawn, she gave her friend a small smile and said goodnight to everyone before entering her room. 

She heard the faint sounds of their voices yelling, "Good night, sweet dreams!" as she locked her door. She changed into her old shorts and tank tops before plopping down on the bed and drifting off to sleep.

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