Man - y.kh

fourteen.

Hyungwon left to go get food while Minhyuk stayed with me and witnessed my therapy. I had to train my arms again. They got me working on raising it up first. "Ow, ow, ow... Fuck." I mumbled, tears threatening to flow. Even though my left arm was barely off the bed, I felt a ripping and searing pain come through my arms.

"Okay, let's stop for today," Minhyuk said. "You've gotten him only this far in an hour, let him rest. And can we get him pain medicine?" The therapist smiled and nodded as she prepared to change my bandaging.

After she was done, I took a deep breath, a tear falling quickly. "I'm stupid," I mumbled.

Minhyuk was quick to change my tone. "No, you're not stupid," he sighed. "You're just a human in pain."

I furrowed my eyebrows a bit, looking at him. "Why are you nice to me suddenly? What did you come save me for?" I asked. He was being awfully kind.

He took a deep breath, walking closer to me. "I picked Hyungwon up, so you could have the car if you needed to go somewhere. And I asked him multiple times if that's what he wanted to do. He could call in sick and I'd vouch for him." He pulled up a chair and sat next to me. "We drove for five minutes when I noticed him getting antsy. He was shifting around in his seat, constantly checking his phone. Then I heard him begin to hyperventilate. And he was grabbing at his pants, shaking his head. I began to turn around."

I nodded softly. "Then what?" I bit my lip, feeling worse and worse. Hyungwon was clearly a tough guy and what I was hearing was a complete obliteration of a man's soul.

Minhyuk sighed softly. "He held his head in his lap, crying. And he told me he couldn't go in first. He needed me to come in. And I'll do anything for my brother, I really will. When we pulled up, I had to calm him down enough to be able to sit in the car and wait. Then you began screaming. I grabbed his keys and just ran. As I turned back to look at him, his skintone was gone... In retrospect, he was as pale as you. And I saw him struggle to even breathe. He was frozen." Minhyuk even began to cry. "You... I walked in and the floor and counter... Looked like a murder scene. I saw you stagger, and almost fall trying to get to the sink. I didn't want to call you 'trender' that time... But I knew you'd be confused about who was in your house..." Minhyuk took a deep breath. "Ki, I didn't think you were gonna make it. Kyungwon is still struggling to get through, we're trying to keep her brain bleed down, but she's thready. And I could see Hyungwon's beginning demise. Please, if you can't stay for anyone else, stay for him." Minhyuk was actually begging me. "I know... I know I have issues and I know he caught the tail end of them, I know he loves you and needs you around."

I shook my head lightly. "He doesn't know me. All he knows is that I'm trans and that I've been used and abused." I looked down at my arms, sighing softly.

"And? You don't know him at all. All you know is he's a foster child, he's got a psycho brother, a damn near incapable of surviving in society brother and a trans sister who is struggling through a deadly assault. You know he's bipolar. But don't know much more than that. I grew up with him. I know him." I shrugged a bit, avoiding eye contact.

Minhyuk grabbed my hand carefully as another voice piped up. "I'll tell you everything... And I mean every single thing, as long as you tell me everything." Hyungwon said, bringing in a take out plate. "I asked the doctors, they said I could feed you this. It's spinach artichoke stuffed chicken with wild rice. It's packed with iron, and you're bordering on iron deficient anemia."

My eyes widened a bit. "Wow, you know a lot about nutrients." Minhyuk had gotten up and left, allowing Hyungwon to sit with me.

"I've been taking care of Jooheon all his life. He's Type 1," he shrugged, opening the chicken. It smelled so good. I was actually hungry this time.

I furrowed my eyebrows. "What all does Jooheon have?"

Hyungwon fed me a little bit of food. "What doesn't he have is a better question... He has asthma, type 1 diabetes, social anxiety, panic disorder. I'm careful when I say this one, he quote en quote 'had' autism. His doctors didn't diagnose him because it was never severe. Apparently, it was barely detectable, but that's where a lot of his anxieties come from. He's sensitive mostly to loud noises. And when he's overstimulated and I'm not paying attention, he repeats a word, to begin to calm himself down and when I finally hear him, he's got a playlist to listen to on a low volume. He had problems with his iron levels, which is why I know about this meal. And he's prone to seizures. But, he's not epileptic." Hyungwon had fed me a fourth of the meal by the time he was done with the list. "Here, drink some of this. It's a green smoothie." He held a cup up to my lip, helping me drink.

"Damn," I mumbled. "I'm sorry." He shrugges softly, sighing as he set my food down.

Hyungwon stared at me for a few seconds. "What do you wanna know?" He asked.

"Anything?" I questioned. I didn't really care where we started.

Hyungwon nodded a bit. "Minhyuk's not as bad as I made it seem. I'm trying to get back to normal with my manic state."

I nodded in understanding. "He said you gotta deal with a psycho brother. I assume it's him." Hyungwon cocked his head a bit.

"Not really," he began. "I mean, the sex and stuff... How it began, I guess. Yeah, that was fucking insane. But after I grew up, even after I was adopted. Every time I was stressed. I'd go to him to vent. But there would be no talking." He chuckled a bit.

I decided to lighten the mood. "Where's the craziest spot you've ever done it? I know you're voyeuristic."

I got Hyungwon to laugh, successfully making myself smile. "Uhm... Honestly? A car? But I don't ever recall us being in a car not at home. Not to be raunchy, but he's a perfect switch." I chuckled, attempting to cover my smile before painfully realizing I couldn't. "Don't cover your face. It's cute. Plus you can't." Hyungwon chuckled.

I smiled again, picking the conversation back up. "Despite everything... I've had sex before." Hyungwon's eyes widened in both shock and confusion. "Yeah. It was with one of my friends, so nothing about love. He was cool, I guess. His name was Changkyun. He was an edgy ass teen, dude. Like Hot Topic reject. He had blonde hair up until the end of sophomore year. Eyebrow bar, lip piercing. Tattoos. Damn he was sexy."

Hyungwon placed his hand on mine. "Easy Ki, I get jealous, you know." He let go of my hand to avoid more awkwardness.

"Anyway, he protected me and we watched out for each other. And whenever we had questions that couldn't be found out with only ourselves, we... experimented. Let's just say that." I thought back about the first time. "When it began, it was a question of whether or not he was straight or not. Even though he knew I was trans, biologically, we could still test it out. He was bi, he told me later. We did it a few times after that. So, I do actually like sex when I obviously consent."

"You keep using past tense. Why?" Hyungwon asked, stealing a bite of my food.

I sighed a bit. "I knew something was wrong the moment he wore a blue shirt and jeans to school. I was even more concerned when he dyed his hair to a brown. He distanced himself from me, laughed with others. Kinda left me alone. He tried to kill himself a week later. He failed, but he had so many attempts, that he had to go to rehab. And I haven't seen him since. But I also haven't heard of him on the news, so that's good. But when he left, my wall was gone and everything got worse."

We talked for hours about basic things after that, getting to know each other. Then we were interrupted by both my doctor and Minhyuk. "Kihyun, you doctor's here to do vitals and change your gauze. Hyungwon, Jooheon's got like three things going all at once." Hyungwon furrowed his eyebrows.

"What does that mean?" He asked, getting up, grabbing his bag.

Minhyuk took a deep breath. "Meltdown, low blood sugar, and he looks like he's about to pass out and have a seizure."

Hyungwon groaned. "Ah, fuck..." With that he left with Minhyuk.

I sighed, wishing the best for them, mentally. My doctor gave me so hydrocodone, and I began to fall victim to the drowsiness again.