Man - y.kh

forty-three.

I couldn't fathom the idea of Wonho being in love with Hyungwon. Plus he referred to him as his brother. That was strange in itself. I wanted to write this off as just the morphine high making him say whatever he wanted to say. It was truly bothering me, it was written all over my face instead of the immense pleasure I was supposed to show. "Kihyun, seriously, what's wrong?" Changkyun asked, sitting up.

I shook my head. "Nothing." Nothing yet. I didn't understand what I felt yet. "Plus, I kinda don't like the fact that the guy who fucked you up and had you completely fucked up is downstairs while we're having sex."

Changkyun chuckled, "He will be okay." He pulled me closer to him, kissing me right under my ear. My weak spot and his.

"No, I don't feel like it anymore." I nudged him away. It took him a few seconds too long to stop. "Changkyun, fuck off!" I yelled, pushing him away.

"What is up with you?" He asked, handing me my clothes.

I rolled my eyes. "What's wrong with you? You generally stop when I say so." I was spiraling a bit, I'll admit.

Changkyun sighed softly. "I'm sorry. I just want you to tell me what's on your mind. You're my boyfriend now. You could tell me anything, now you've just shut down? Is it Wonho?"

Yes. "No."

"Hyungwon?"

Yes. "No!"

"Then what is fucking bothering you?" Changkyun sighed, putting his shirt back on.

The fact that my ex has his best friend pining after him, but I still love him deep down inside. "The fact that he's downstairs." I scoffed.

"You were pissy before I told you. Stop lying to me." He reached for my hand. "You can tell me anything."

My brother loves my ex. "Maybe I'm PMSing." I shrugged.

Changkyun rolled his eyes. "When's the last time you had a period? You're too stressed out." I went to speak again, but Changkyun shook his head. "If the next words are lies, don't speak." And so, I shut the fuck up. For a little bit.

"What did Shownu do?" I asked.

There was silence for a while. "I slept with my English professor." Shownu said from the hallway. "His colleagues found out, then he was fired. When they found out it was me, everyone looked at me in the way I've been trying to avoid for like... eight fucking years."

I got up, opening the door. There were tears brimming his eyes but he didn't even acknowledge them. As he blinked them back I shifted my weight onto my other hip, very sassily. "You wanna know why they look like that?" I asked. He shrugged me off a bit. "You're hiding. You're so far back into the closet that it's a surprise when they find you. You act straight, you lowkey act homophobic, you're a fucking jock." I sighed a bit, turning my back on him.

Shownu sighed softly. "I guess." I had no more patience.

"You guess?" I asked. "You fucking guess?"

Changkyun knew exactly where I was going with this. "Kihyun, stop." He took my hand and I swatted it away.

"No!" I yelled. "You fucking took the utmost advantage of him and he still decided to open his heart up for you. You used him because girls aren't your fucking cup of tea. And he fell in love with you. And you exploited him. Passed that sex tape off as a dare and like it was nothing you enjoyed. You used that tape to test the waters and see if people would be accepting of you coming out and they started making fun of him instead. I lost my best friend for years because of you. So you "guess" you're a self homophobic piece of shit? I don't see how he let him get fucked by you after that. He almost lost his life because of you. Don't fucking "guess" what you fucking know. You're a piece of shit, Hyunwoo." I stormed back into Changkyun's room.

Changkyun sighed softly, "I'm sorry."

I scoffed. "Don't apologize for me. I said what I said. I meant it. Don't apologize for me because I'm not fucking sorry. You don't get to do fucked up shit and when karma falls back on you, ask why the fuck it's coming back to you. That's 50 fucking shades of stupid." I laid back, waiting for Changkyun to come back to his room.

"Was all of that necessary?" He asked, shutting the door.

I nodded adamantly. "You won't stand up for yourself, you still submit to him. So yes, it was all necessary."

Changkyun stood by his door. "Tell me what Hyungwon did." He sighed.

I shook my head. "He didn't do anything."

"Okay then tell me what Wonho did. You're pissed at the world, tell me what he did." I looked at my phone, searching the total costs of my surgeries. I was getting them almost as soon as I turned 18, I needed to prepare.

I looked up at him. "Alright." I sent Jaesung a link to my sources and then looked up at Changkyun. "Wonho confessed his love for Hyungwon tonight. And I don't know what I feel about it."

Changkyun nodded softly. "Who do you truly love? Romantically." He asked.

I shook my head. "Both of you? I didn't know I still had any idea of love for Hyungwon until Wonho said what he did." I knew I'd disappointed and hurt him. But he wanted my honesty right?

"I think we should get you home." Changkyun shrugged. "Get dressed. Let's go."

He didn't talk to me at all on the way home. I knew I'd pissed him off, but it was true. I didn't know how I felt. He asked and I told. I got out of the car and I walked around to his side of the car. "Love you." I said softly, leaning in for a kiss.

He didn't turn to me. "Okay." I have to admit, that stung. I sighed, going to the front door. He drove off before making sure I got inside, which was unlike him. If I had to make a bet, is bet that he was going home to fuck Hyunwoo and that'd be that.

When I got inside, I sighed a bit, looking at Jaesung. "So, what do you think? Is this something we can afford to do?" I asked. Jaesung looked up at me, tears in his eyes. "Oh God, what?" My face fell softly.

"I just got a call from the hospital." He sighed softly. I was prepared for the worst possible news. But I don't know what was worse. Wonho dying or this. "They don't fucking know where he is. He's literally fucking gone. And they don't know where Hyungwon is either."