Man - y.kh

eighty.

It's been a month since I walked away from Hyungwon. Benji still needed me, he still wanted his Ki. With the help of Jae, I ended up in an apartment by myself and a great paying job on top of it. It was a beautiful two bedroom apartment. I had my bedroom and Benji had his. It was crazy to me that I wasn't this kid's parent at all and we were still taking care of him as if it was a joint custody arrangement.

It's been a month since I walked away from Hyungwon, which was also the last time I saw him. If I talk to him, which I don't actually speak to him, it's in the company of Jaesung and Jooheon. We have a group chat where I ask if Benji wants to come over. Hyungwon tells me yes or no and explains how the day has gone. I don't let him talk to me otherwise. I am not having it. I went back to him so many times and gave him so many chances just for him to hurt me constantly. I'm over it.

The intercom buzzer rang, letting me know someone was here with Benji. "Can I help you?" I asked, standing by the intercom and doing my shot at the same time.

"Hi, Ki! I come in?" Benji seemed almost unphased by the change, but it still hurt me to know he was split between parents again.

I smiled, hitting the button to speak. "Of course you can, baby. See you in a few." I finished my shot and disposed of the needle, taking a deep breath. I went in the kitchen, grabbing the snack I had set aside of him and setting it on the table. There was a tiny knock at the door as soon as I came back. When I opened the door, I was shocked to see him here. "Hello," I said softly, furrowing my eyebrows.

Minhyuk nodded, walking in with Benji. "We need to talk," he sighed. Had something to do with Hyungwon, I just knew.

"Hey Bubba, you can take your snack to your room, okay?" He nodded excitedly, reaching for his plate. "Two hands." I watched as he carefully walked to his room, making sure to keep every carrot on his plate with his sandwich. "Let's sit," I motioned you're the table, sitting down.

Was I nervous for what Minhyuk had to say? Yes, I was. Not just because I didn't want Hyungwon in danger, but also because I didn't want to run back to him. He's learned that I'll always come back and he can't have that over me anymore. "I moved in with Hyungwon for a little while to watch him. He's back to smoking."

I shrugged. "A little weed, a cigarette, not the end of the world. Only reason I don't smoke anymore is because I got shot, so I don't have extra health to spare. But tell him to get vapes." I wasn't trying to listen to this.

"Kihyun, what did he do?" He asked. "He told me you just up and left without giving him a chance to explain. I don't even know where there is to explain?"

I chuckled a bit. "Wow, he gets more and more manipulative the more I step away and look at him. He fucking cheated on me. When your mom accidentally overdosed, he met a busty ginger and the rest is history. Every time he told me he was meeting up with his siblings from Hanjae, he was fucking her." Minhyuk's jaw dropped. "Yes. So fuck whatever he's doing right now. If fucking her makes him happy, I'm perfectly fine with it." I got up, heading to my computer desk.

"He didn't even do that with Akira," Minhyuk furrowed his eyebrows. That just further convinced me that he wanted a girlfriend, not me.

I grabbed a small jewelry bag. "Here's that necklace I had a panic attack trying to find after Changkyun fucking pawned it. And here's the ring. Give it to him. I haven't worn them in a month, they're no good to me sitting here. And I wouldn't disrespect him by pawning them, no matter how much money could help me out." I gave them to him, sitting back down.

Minhyuk bit his lip, uncertain on how he wanted to continue the conversation. "You know you're my best friend, Kihyun. And he's my brother."

I shook my head. "Choose a side to be on. You're my best friend too, and I used to hate your guts. I can go back to that if you'd like?" Minhyuk went quiet. "As my best friend, you wouldn't say something to try to get me to go back to him. He was wrong, he is wrong. If he would've told me something, I would've understood. But he lied to me. And made it seem like he just couldn't tell me he was struggling. I don't fuck with that. And he made it harder to leave because I have Benji now. He's like my own kid, he would be heartbroken." This was a headache and a half.

"He's also being respectful right now," Minhyuk said. I wanted to slap him, but I settled for a scoff. "He's in the car. He said he wasn't gonna come in because you hate him. But if you want to settle this, go outside and talk to him."

This was the one time I dug my heels in and refused to do anything anyone suggested. Following other people's advice got me nowhere. "Did you talk to Bora yet?" Again, he went quiet. "If you're not going to talk to the one you love about something traumatic that happened to the both of you and try to find your way back to each other, don't think for a second you should be telling me to bury the hatchet with someone I loved who swore they loved me, who has repeatedly hurt me, belittled me, and treated me less than their equal partner. Now, are you done trying to convince me I should bow down to Hyungwon again?" Minhyuk threw his hands in defeat.

But he didn't give up completely. "I would at least hear him out. Because you're just going to be asking questions over and over again to yourself and come up with every answer but the one he really has." Minhyuk stood up, pushing in his chair."I might not have talked to Bora, but I asked myself over and over why God let these things happen us. All of us. And I came up with every answer except the real one. So either stay running away from this, or have a conversation like the adults we are at this point." That was the last thing he said before walking out the door.

Benji came out of his room. "I thirsty," he frowned slightly.

I turned around, picking him up. "Whatcha want?" I asked. "Juice, milk, or water?"

He thought a bit before deciding. "Juice!" He three his hands up to celebrate his choice.

I smiled, raising my free arm. "Juice it is!" I walked into the kitchen and grabbed the juice from the refrigerator. "Open the cabinet and get your favorite cup." Benji reached for the door with both hands and found his favorite cup. After I poured his juice, the intercom buzzed again. I went to answer it, "What now, Min?" I asked.

"I really have to use the restroom." Hyungwon sighed a bit. "Please let me come in?" I let Benji down so he could go back to his room. Should I be civil? I held the speak button and unlocked my door. I heard the front door open downstairs and I locked my door back. I had a change of heart and he was already inside, too late for him to hear me on the intercom.

Hyungwon knocked on my door. I left the top chain latched and opened the door enough to speak. "I literally don't care what you have to do. You can stand there and piss yourself for all I care, you're not coming in here. Now can you both let me have time with Benji?" I shut the door, not noticing his hand at the edge of the door.

"Ah, fuck!" He screamed, kneeing the door back open to get his hand free.

Now I felt bad. I didn't mean to physically hurt him. I opened the door. "Come in, use the bathroom, let me fix your hand, leave. That's all. I don't wanna talk or do anything else." He nodded, heading to the bathroom.

If I talked to him, I'd go back. And I'd sacrificed myself for far too long and I was done with it. I was almost all ready for surgery. That's all I wanted and all I needed to focus on at this point. Just a few more paychecks and I'd be good to go.