Man - y.kh

seventy-six.

Six weeks after everything, I finally went home to Hyungwon and Benji. "I called Mari," he said, turning into our driveway. "And Changkyun. Minhyuk's coming to pick Benji up and drop off Jooheon."

I hadn't even gotten out of the car before I was utterly confused. "Why is Changkyun coming over and why is Jooheon coming over?" All I knew was I was going to jail if Changkyun pressed charges.

"Jooheon told me that Changkyun used to touch him and before Mari gets here, I'm gonna get that bitch to back off. You are facing aggravated assault with a deadly weapon, Kihyun. As much as I want to think the self defense is going to come into effect, it might not. So that's five at least, fourteen at most." I knew Hyungwon was still really upset with me and I don't blame him.

I just kept my mouth shut, getting out of the car. Hyungwon helped me as much as he could and left Benji run up to the front door. "What am I supposed to do?" I asked softly. This feeling was awful, the feeling of ruining everything he'd worked for.

"Just keep your cool," he reminded me. As we made our way inside, I started feeling anxiety. I didn't know where it came from, but it was there. "Kiddo, why don't you get ready for Min?" Hyungwon helped direct Benji to his room.

I stood in the living room, looking around. Everything felt like it was spinning and not real. It felt like if I touched it, I wasn't going to feel it. Minhyuk had pulled up and I hadn't noticed until Jooheon came into the house. I was out of it. "Hey," Jooheon tapped my shoulder. I jumped before turning to face him. "What's wrong?" He asked. It took his question to put me into a full blown panic attack. The hyperventilating and the crying. I hadn't had one in such a long time, I forgot just how constricting and suffocating it felt. Fuck, it felt like being shot in the stomach. It felt like dying.

"I don't wanna die," I wheezed, breaths getting shorter and shorter. The world seemed to slow down and speed up all at the same time, making me dizzy.

Jooheon held onto me, trying to keep me upright. "Hyungwon! Kihyun's having a panic attack, come help him!" He tried to remind me of my breathing, but I couldn't help it.

Hyungwon took what felt like years to come downstairs and help me, switching off with Jooheon. "Go make sure Benji's getting his things ready and not playing. I'll let you know when he can come downstairs." Hyungwon pulled me closer to his chest, helping me sit down. "Shhh baby, it's okay. You're here with me, you're here with me and Benji. You're not going anywhere."

I shook my head. "I love you. I'm dying. I don't wanna die. I wanna be here." Hyungwon ran his hands through my hair, kissing my forehead.

"Shhh," he whispered. "I got you. We're gonna move away when all the legal troubles are over. We're gonna move to the next city, maybe even a different state? We'll get away." I nodded, my breathing started to slow down. "When we move and get settled in, we'll get jobs we love or go back to school. We'll grow up there with Benji. Maybe even foster kids in need, adopt them. You're not leaving us. Okay?" I nodded, taking a deep breath. "Jooheon, Minhyuk's waiting!" I pulled away from him, wiping my tears.

Benji ran down the stairs, eager to say goodbye. "Hey, be careful." I chuckled a bit. He raised his arms up, wanting me to pick him up, but I couldn't. Before I could break that news to him, Hyungwon picked him up instead, giving him a big kiss. I leaned in to give him an even bigger kiss. "We love you, Bubba."

He smiled a bit, "I love you Ki, I love you Daddy." Hyungwon smiled before taking him outside.

I looked at Jooheon, sighing a bit. "Hyungwon told me that you said something." He nodded, sitting down. "Do you want to tell me?"

Jooheon shrugged a bit. "He would touch me and have sex with me sometimes, there's nothing new or special about this shit." I couldn't tell if this was a puberty change or a fed up change, but Jooheon wasn't the same kid I met last year.

"Kiddo," I sighed softly. "I'm sorry..." I was just overall disappointed with Changkyun. We all grew up with rough lives and fell into this circle of misfits. For the most part, we all vowed to change and make it better for our friends and families. Changkyun never got the message. It was just a sad state of affairs.

Hyungwon came back inside. "He's about five minutes away. There's an iPod in that plant over there. It'll catch anything that might happen. I can hear you from upstairs, okay? And the iPod is almost screen mirroring to my laptop." I didn't like this. This was fucked up.

"No," I scoffed. "Why the fuck would you put Joo in a situation with him?"

Jooheon stopped me. "I volunteered. This was my idea." He admitted.

I shook my head. "You're a fucking kid."

He rolled his eyes. "Isn't that the fucking point? To prove that he's a piece of shit around kids and shouldn't be trusted?" Hyungwon clapped his hands, getting us to pay attention.

"Kihyun, let's get you upstairs too." He walked over to me, helping me out of the chair and letting me lean on him. "You really thought I would willingly let him do this? No, I fucking hate it." I should've known better than to doubt him.

Within a few minutes, I heard Jooheon call out. "Open!" He said. When the door opened, he seemed to freeze up. I couldn't tell if it was genuine or just acting. "Oh fuck," he sighed softly.

I wanted to cry. Why did he want to do this? He might've started panicking, he could be hurt. It took all of my might and Hyungwon's death grip on me to keep me from going downstairs now that I knew what would be happening.

"I didn't know you would be here," Changkyun smiled, sitting next to him. "Where's your brother and in law?" He asked, his hand landing on Jooheon's knee.

Jooheon shook his head. "Not... here?" He didn't even want to lie.

"Funny," Changkyun laughed. "Usually he's 'just upstairs' or 'coming back soon', but I guess you finally figured it out."

He kept shaking his head, trying to move away. "What?" He asked.

The next thing he said made me want to puke. "I get anything and everything I want, including you."

And then it started. "Peach," Jooheon whimpered. "Peach, peach, peach." I couldn't watch it go on.

"If you don't fucking stop him right now, we're not getting married," I whispered. "I'll take the fucking charges just get him away from him." It wasn't just affecting Jooheon, it was affecting me. I guess Hyungwon was numb to it.

As Changkyun started going further, Hyungwon got up, rushing downstairs. With his back turned to the staircase, he wouldn't have seen him coming downstairs. "What the fuck are you doing to him?" Hyungwon growled.

Even then, Changkyun took his sweet ass time pulling away from Jooheon. "Oh. There you are." I stood up, hobbling down to hallway, watching from the banister.

Hyungwon made his way to the plant, taking the iPod out and stopping it. "I'm not gonna fucking hurt you like I want to. But I am gonna turn this over to police if you don't drop the charges against Kihyun." Changkyun was actually surprised. His freedom was at stake now too.

"What the fuck?" He asked, standing up.

Hyungwon shrugged as Mari pulled into the driveway. "Tell her. Tell her that you're not pressing charges. This won't go to the cops." Right away, he forgot to mention.

Changkyun nodded. "Fine. I'll drop the charges against your psychotic fiancé. Are you fucking satisfied?"

Hyungwon shook his head. "Alright, this won't go to the cops. Right now? I'm not satisfied at all, but it'll do." As Mari walked in the door, Hyungwon greeted her before taking a seat next to Jooheon. He looked up at Changkyun, waiting for him to speak up." Jooheon grabbed onto Hyungwon, softly hitting at his leg.

"I'm not pressing charges after all," Changkyun sighed. "I'm sorry to waste your time, but I'm not doing that. Shooting himself in the stomach was karma enough."

After a 15 minute conversation that I didn't care to hear went on, both Mari and Changkyun left. I made my way downstairs to help calm Jooheon down. "You're so fucking strong, kiddo." I sighed, holding his hand.

Jooheon shook his head, tears starting to fall. "Stupid," he whimpered. "So fucking stupid." Hyungwon sighed, just rubbing his back. We shared a glance between the both of us, asking each other with our eyes one question. How did we all get here? How did we get to be so stupid, broken and helpless all at once?