Be Careful What You Wish For

Chapter 19

As weeks turned into months, Cecilia became much better at controlling her vampire instincts, especially her blood-lust. Even though she could feel that she was more in control of herself, she didn't try to check her self-control until Tobias thought she was ready.

When they finally decided to put her to a test, it had been one year since she was bitten. The second thing they did differently was the fact that they started slowly.

They went to a farm held by a human and once she got used to the scent of human blood in the air, they went to a bigger place and so on. Tobias called it exposure therapy and Cecilia couldn't help but smile at the name.

They continued getting help from Helen, but they never trusted her completely. Maybe she did what she thought was best, but she showed a blatant disregard for human life which both Tobias and Cecilia disliked. It felt wrong, painful even not to respect life.

Still, Helen helped them out because she was, after all, a lot more experienced than them, but they never went back to how the things were before the killing incident.

Every time they went on their small expeditions, Tobias thoroughly prepared by carrying all the things vampires hated and bringing many distractions just in case something happened.

Months passed and nothing happened so Tobias thought it was finally time for Cecilia to try going out on her own which went surprisingly well.

Finally, they concluded that Cecilia was ready to be on her own and live her eternity the way she chose to.

"You know there will always be a place for you here," Tobias said as she was preparing to leave his house to try to find a place of her own.

"Yes, I know and that is very nice of you, but I think I need to take back the control of my life. Since I became a vampire, I lost sight of who I am and what I want to do. Now, that I will live forever I need to try to get to know myself again and decide what I want to do. I can't do that here. I feel so safe and protected like I don't have to figure out anything, and it lulls me into a sense of security that I don't need right now. What I need is to stand on my own two feet and deal with life, or whatever this is, on my own. Of course, if I need help, I will ask, but I think it is better for both of us if I move out." She said.

She was preparing to enter the big bright world once again and she couldn't help but feel a bit nervous.

"I guess I understand why you have to do it, but I don't have to like it. If at any moment you decide that you have had enough, my door is always open to you." Tobias said quietly.

He was afraid that if he spoke loudly his voice would break and it would be obvious how much he didn't want her to go.

"Thanks, that's good to know," Cecilia said.

With that, she left the house that had been her home since she became a vampire.

Tobias did lend her some money until she settled in, and she rented a small house just outside the city. She needed a place far from humans because from time to time she was still tempted to just rip their throats out and drink as much blood as she wanted.

However, she was strong enough to leave it at just fantasies that she had from time to time. Still, she didn't want to risk any more human lives by living in the city, and that was the most important reason why she chose the old house she was in.

It wasn't comfortable and it wasn't pretty, but she was a vampire, all those things weren't high on her list of priorities. The only thing she did bring into the fully furnished house was the coffin that Tobias got her at one point and that she simply adored.

She knew that it was weird and unorthodox, but she still loved the antique beauty of the wooden coffin. Just in case she had some unexpected visitors she put it in the dusty basement which she decided to use as her bedroom. It felt right for her to sleep in the coffin, after all, she was a vampire. That helped her to never forget how dangerous and unpredictable she could be, so she was always on guard.

Living with Tobias was too comfortable, too normal. She never had the sense that she was a vampire. Probably because she didn't think of vampires as having fancy houses and comfortable beds. When she started sleeping in the coffin, it helped her understand that she truly was a vampire, but only when she moved out to the creepy little house she was in, did she fully accept the fact.

After settling in, she got a regular, boring job and tried her best to fit in, while in secret researching the man who killed her.

Tobias was very content with her progress, but he didn't know about her revenge plans and secret outings. It was easy to hide all those things from him because he was giving her as much privacy as she wanted.

She felt bad for not telling him the whole truth, but she thought it was her life that was taken and in turn that made it her business and no one else's.

Although Tobias became very dear to her heart and saved her life, she still didn't think he needed to know every little thing about her life. At least that was how she justified it to herself.

The truth was that she knew he wouldn't approve of the kind of violence she had in mind and would do anything in his power to stop her, and she wanted to prevent that at all costs.

Consequently, she spent a lot of time trying to fit in and researching Stanton until she was confident that she had all she needed. The plan was set in motion and the only thing that worried her was the fact that there was a small chance the vampire would recognize her, but that was the risk she was willing to take.

To her, the plan was perfect in its simplicity. Still, many things could go wrong. Nevertheless, she decided to carry on with the plan.