Be Careful What You Wish For

Chapter 35

The walk was quite refreshing for Cecilia. It was good to feel her body moving properly and gaining back its strength and agility.

When she became a vampire, she thought there would be many things to worry about, but it never occurred to her weakness would be one of them. What she found good about being a vampire, even when she denied her new identity, was the power and certainty that existence brought with it.

She hated feeling weak, even when she was alive. She disliked people seeing her vulnerable, now that she was a vampire, a perfect predator, she didn't expect she would have to revisit that feeling. She feared that people would take advantage of even the smallest sign of weakness.

That dislike of being weak turned into pure hatred the night she died. She loathed the fact that she was so weak in comparison to Stanton. There was absolutely nothing she could have done to save her life.

At least when she became a vampire, she thought she would have the upper hand in being invincible. What she didn't take into consideration was the fact that everyone had their weak points, even vampires.

She was suffering from physical weakness, but she was sure she could never even grasp the emotional pain, anger, and sorrow, Tobias was going through, for eternity.

That was the bad side of being a vampire she never even considered. All your past mistakes, regrets, sorrows, and pain were there to haunt you, every moment of your being, every second, and it never stopped.

Was being a vampire as nice as she had always assumed? Cecilia was starting to think it was not.

Eternal life was not worth all the pain of watching the people you care about wither and die, remembering how it was being human but never being able to go back. She could see it in Tobias' eyes while he was telling her what happened to the most precious person in his life, and she couldn't comprehend the depth of that sorrow. It was difficult for even her vampire mind to comprehend it. For Cecilia, it felt similar to her, as a human, trying to understand the vastness of the universe, an impossibility.

Lost in her thoughts, Cecilia started to her feet when she heard shuffling of feet nearby.

"I am a terrible vampire!" she thought annoyed by her inability to sense Tobias' loud approach much sooner.

Her senses were also weakened by the ordeal she went through because it was only then that she realized it had been a long time since she came out of the house. So not only didn't she hear Tobias' approach, but she didn't notice that the time of day had changed while she was outside.

"Can we sit down for a while," Tobias said, as he approached.

"I need to finish my story. Once I get it all out in the open you can tell me what you honestly think about it all, and I will accept whatever you have to tell me," he said, as they sat down on the nearby bench.

Cecilia tried to say something, but he quieted her with one look. It was clear that he needed to finish the story, that it would help his recovery.

"After Helen chased away the monsters who made me kill my wife, the first thing I wanted to do was to make a proper burial for the woman who loved me so much that she always just saw the best version of me. Even when she should have seen the monster lurking, she only saw the man she married.

Helen didn't think that was a good idea, but I didn't care what she thought. After all, I wasn't like those guys, I wasn't scared of her. The worst thing she could do to me was to murder me, but at the time I didn't mind the idea of dying.

Having sensed how broken I truly was, something that seldom happened to a vampire, she decided to help me out.

With our super speeds and strengths combined, we managed to prepare a funeral worthy of my love rather quickly. We even made the gravestone you saw. I scratched in those words you saw with my nails. It hurt more than it should have, having in mind I was a vampire.

Now that I think about it, I might have been projecting the pain from my heart into physical pain, something that would be much easier to deal with. Even so, I could feel my dead heart trying to burst out of my chest and join my darling in her grave but Helen stopped me.

She told me the truths that I needed to hear. But all her words didn't influence me as much as her mention of Celeste.

"She would want you to do something good with a terrible thing that happened to you, to help people. You should do it in her memory, to prove to her and yourself that her death wasn't in vain." Helen said.

Although I knew she wasn't as interested in helping humans as she tried to make herself out to be, and that she was just saying what I wanted to hear, I stayed. I stayed in existence at that time, although I did try to stop my suffering once after that. Once more, Helen saved me.

Anyways, only after I had spent three nights and three days mourning my love, I was finally ready to hear Helen out. She was very patient with me, like a mother bird with its young. She fed me, she taught me and was the best support you could imagine.

Nevertheless, there was always a certain emptiness in my heart that I could never fill out, no matter how hard I tried. After some time, I just started thinking it was a vampire thing, and that we could never feel those precious human emotions.

Then I saw you.

Something in me told me I had to save you because you reminded me of her and I should have saved her.

I should have stopped them from ever touching her let alone drawing her blood. Maybe I couldn't have controlled my instincts but if only I had heard Helen out, I would have known and been able to stop them from doing what they did. My love for her and my need to see her ended up being the things that killed her. But now I see I was wrong, I didn't save you because you are like her.

You are nothing like Celeste. You are your unique self, and you are the one who called to me, not the memory of my dead wife. It's you that I want by my side.

That is if you'll have me, after everything you have heard about me." Tobias said, with doubt in his voice.

"Please don't answer me right away. Think about it. I don't want you to promise something out of pity and regret it later. Come find me when you have made your decision." He said and walked away before she had the chance to say anything at all.

The moment he left, Cecilia could pick up Helen's scent nearby.

"Helen? Were you eavesdropping the whole time? Has anyone ever told you a thing or two about privacy." Cecilia said as Helen started emerging from the shadows.

Even though Cecilia had heard about everything Helen had done for Tobias and was grateful to Helen for that, she couldn't help but despise her. Cecilia couldn't stop herself from blaming Helen for what Cecilia had done, for killing that human.

Maybe it wasn't completely fair, but Helen admitted herself that she knew what would happen, she shouldn't have allowed them to go into the town, even if she only had a feeling something bad might happen. But the main reason Cecilia chose to blame Helen was the fact that if she didn't blame Helen, she would have to blame the animal who slaughtered the human, herself.

"That's my story, too, you know. So, I wouldn't call it eavesdropping, just refreshing my memory, I guess." Helen said.

Seeing Cecilia's annoyed expression, she went on before Cecilia could walk away from her.

"Before you make your decision, would you mind listening to my story, as well? I don't mean my life story, I mean my side of the story Tobias has just told you?" Helen asked, and for the first time, there was uncertainty in her voice.

Not being able to say anything, and not wanting to listen to anything Helen had to say, Cecilia still ended up nodding her head in agreement.