Be Careful What You Wish For

Chapter 24

The next day as she was lying in her snug coffin, she started doubting herself. Could she go back to that terrible place and pretend to be one of them?

The previous day was a much greater challenge than she anticipated. Stanton seemed more interested in her than she thought he would be, and that was difficult to navigate. She didn't want him touching any part of her body, but that contradicted her plans.

Her main goal was to join the clan, so the fact that he liked her would probably make that easier, but she wasn't sure she could handle it. Even his look made her sick to her stomach, not to mention the moments he held her hand. She felt like his mouth was leaving filth on her very soul if she had one.

As she thought it through, she realized that people often made sacrifices. To get what you want, sometimes you need to do things you don't like. You have to do what is better for the many not what benefited the few.

Even though her sacrifices were a bit more unconventional, she felt a sense of duty towards the human race. After all, she was until recently its member, and although it had its ups and downs, she appreciated that she had the chance to live.

By destroying Stanton and his clan she would be giving the same opportunity to some poor humans that would have been brutally slaughtered by the group.

With her mind made up, she rose from her coffin, ready to face another awful day that awaited her. Ready to face it with a fake smile and a lot of lies.

What she wasn't ready for, was the knock on her front door. She rarely had any visitors, so she knew that there was only one person who could be knocking on her door, Tobias.

It was always nice to see a friendly face, but Cecilia wanted to avoid him as much as possible since she couldn't stand lying to him. He was the only one who saw her as a person who was worth saving, and there she was, deceiving him.

In a way, she thought she was protecting him because the truth could only harm him. He would worry about her too much and after the completion of her plans, he would probably be judged by the Vampire Council.

No matter how she felt, she couldn't pretend she wasn't home. He knew she was home. His vampire sense took care of that.

She opened the door hesitantly, thinking of a quick way to get rid of him, for his good as well as hers.

"I am sorry I was just on my way out." She said although it was yet too early for her to go to work.

"Did you need something?" She added.

"We need to talk. I can no longer stand by when I know that you are hiding something from me, something big. I was planning on letting it go, of waiting for you to tell me when you are ready, but after last night...Well, hearing you in so much pain prevents me from turning a blind eye. What is happening?" Tobias asked looking her straight in the eyes.

"What is happening? I am not sure what you mean?" She said fidgeting as her eyes shifted around looking for a way out of the unwanted conversation.

"I thought we were friends. Something big is happening to you, and yet you choose to keep me in the dark. Please, Cecilia, tell me what is wrong, I want to help." He said with such intensity that she wanted to tell him everything, to make herself feel better.

"I can't do that! I can't tell him the truth." She thought to herself.

"But who am I trying to protect. Am I trying to protect him from paying for my crimes or am I trying to protect myself from seeing the disappointment in his eyes?"

"Cecilia, talk to me! All I want is to see you happy. When you are hurting, I feel so powerless. I want to make the pain go away. Can't you let me do that?" He said in defeat.

The hurt in his voice was heartbreaking.

"Don't you get that I am trying to protect you! This is something I have to do by myself! Can't you just let it go!" She said in pleading anger.

Instead of answering, Tobias just stared deep into her eyes, trying to decipher what hid in their depths. Understanding flashed on his face and was quickly replaced by horror.

"What have you done, Cecilia!? Have you tried to kill Stanton?!" He said, incredulity coloring his voice.

"No." Was all she said at first.

However, Tobias's relief was short-lived as she went on.

"Not yet." She said.

"Why would you do something as risky as that?! Is revenge worth dying for?" He asked not fully understanding why she couldn't move on with her existence.

It was hard for him, too, but he never tried to take revenge on the vampires who attacked him in the first place.

"No, not revenge. This is not only about revenge. It is also about redemption for the life I took." She said, unsure how to explain her feelings to Tobias.

"There are other ways. You can help humans in other ways. You don't have to die. Please don't die!" He said, as one bloody tear slowly rolled down his face.

He didn't want to lose anyone else. But it wasn't only about what he wanted for himself, it was also about what he wanted for her. He wanted her to live. Her life was cut short by a monster, and he needed her to be happy. Even if she were to leave him and go somewhere else, the only thing that mattered to him was her happiness.

Looking at her, he could see that she was anything but happy and it hurt him so much that he would do anything to see her smile.

"I am sorry. This is the best way for me to repay the life I have taken. Don't worry, I am not planning on dying. My plan will work. It has to. I will kill all of them and walk away." She said, trying to convince both of them.

The truth was she truly didn't want to die, but a small voice of reason told her that she couldn't take on so many ancient vampires and live to tell the tale.

Still, she didn't think Tobias needed to hear that small detail. He probably already knew.

"You are planning to slay all of them?! Are you insane!? You won't succeed. There are too many of them. A direct attack will lead to your death. Stop, please stop this nonsense!" Tobias said, incredulity obvious in his voice.

"No, of course not. Tobias, I am not crazy. I have a plan. I plan to infiltrate their clan and strike once I have gained their trust when they least expected. I already started working for their company, and they don't suspect a thing." She said, unable to control the note of pride that colored her voice.

"Are you sure they didn't notice something was off? After all, they are seasoned vampires." Tobias said.

"I am sure. Don't worry Tobias, I know what I am doing." She said.

"First I have to say that I disagree with this plan. I beg you to reconsider. If you refuse to that, then at least promise me that if it gets too much to handle you will reach out." Tobias said, not knowing how else to help her.

"I promise. But nothing will go wrong. My plan is too perfect to fail." Cecilia said surer of herself than he had ever seen her before.

Even though he was surprised that old vampires wouldn't see through the young one's schemes, he didn't see what use it would be for them to pretend they didn't notice the deception. Having no answer to that question he decided to believe her assessment.

"Please be careful. I don't approve of any killings, but if you need me to help you, I am just a call away." He said as he moved towards the door.

"Thank you." She said standing in the doorway.

"For what?" He asked confused.

"For being always there for me. No matter how horrible my actions seem to you."

"You are welcome." He said as he walked away, fearing for Cecilia's life.