Be Careful What You Wish For

Chapter 34

A moment passed where Tobias was loudly sobbing and Cecilia was quietly weeping. It was as if the time stood still mourning the loss of a beautiful flower that was picked too soon.

Tobias couldn't gather enough strength to look Cecilia in the eyes. He was afraid of what he might see.

Would he see disgust? Pain? Anger?

It wasn't something he was ready for, he wasn't ready for her to hate him, to reject him.

When he decided to tell her his life's story he knew that was a risk, but now that he was faced with the possibility of losing her, he wasn't sure if he had made the right choice.

As his sobbing slowly subsided, he carefully lifted his eyes to see what was going through Cecilia's mind but blinded by his pain he couldn't tell what she was thinking.

For the first time since Celeste died, he had felt overwhelming emotions, and he couldn't help but hope that maybe, just maybe, Cecilia would accept him as he was and let Celeste rest in peace.

Their eyes met for a brief moment and before he could say anything to try to gauge her reaction she was up in a matter of seconds and hugging him tightly, too tightly.

"I am so sorry. I had no idea what happened to you. Here I was complaining about my life when you have gone through so much." Cecilia said.

"So, you don't hate me? You don't think that I am a monster?" Tobias asked, hesitation clear in his voice.

"Of course not, why would I? Aren't you forgetting I killed someone as well, I have no right to judge anyone? I just feel so sad that you have gone through so much emotional pain even after you died." Cecilia said.

"Yeah, but that's not the same. You killed a random guy and I killed the woman I loved, the one person who trusted me completely and whose trust I have betrayed." Tobias said.

"I understand that but you should also understand that it wasn't your fault. You had no control over your actions, the same way I didn't have it when I killed that human in the alley.

We all live under this false belief that love is stronger than anything but unfortunately that is not true. At our core, we are all animals, governed by our instincts and the strongest one of them all is the survival instinct.

For us to be able to survive we need to feed. That need is even stronger in predatory creatures such as vampires. There was nothing you could have done to stop yourself.

If you want to blame someone for her death, you should blame those vampires who did this to you, who cut her, knowing that you wouldn't be able to stop your self.

It was their fault, not yours. Do you hear me? It was not your fault!" Cecilia said.

Having spent so many years feeling guilty about what happened that day, Tobias didn't fully believe Cecilia's words but still, he nodded his head in agreement.

Thinking she managed to convince him to accept the truth, Cecilia couldn't help but wonder what happened after he killed the love of his life.

"So what happened next? Did you kill them all?" Cecilia asked.

Only then did she realize that killing her murderer and his band of thugs didn't feel as good as she expected. She thought it would give her a sense of freedom, satisfaction even, and at first, it did, but the feeling lasted for only a few moments as she watched the fire consume their bodies.

After that, she realized the enormity of what she had done. Tobias wasn't the monster, she was. Fully aware and in control, she murdered her kind, and then she chopped up their bodies, feeling happy about it. What did that make her?

While she was alive, she would never hurt a fly, but there she was, enjoying the demise of creatures who could think and feel.

Stanton was the monster and probably his clan supported and participated in that monstrosity, but who was she to allow herself the right to be the judge and the jury?

Revenge didn't bring her life back or her eternity any better. For Tobias' sake, she hoped he didn't have as many deaths on his soul, as she did if vampires even had souls.

"Well, I wanted to violently murder every one of them. After anger took me over, I still managed to lower Celeste gently to the ground, and then I ran towards the closest guy planning to kill him or to die trying.

Imagine my surprise when I noticed that I could measure up to those monsters. Since I had the element of surprise on my side, I managed to clock one of them, but soon enough they were all over me.

Although I was young and strong they were much older vampires and knew what they were doing. Relying only on my instinct wasn't enough against them, but I didn't care, I wanted to avenge Celeste's death. I was blind with fury.

Only later did I realize that my fighting style was extremely reckless and that they could have killed me a dozen times, but they chose not to. Partly because they loved playing the game of cat and mouse, but partly because they were afraid of Helen.

She had and still does some very strong connections in the supernatural world and no one dares cross her. Still, playing with my emotions wasn't exactly breaking the deal they made with Helen, so they thoroughly enjoyed my rage and suffering. All my anger and pain weren't enough to do any real damage to them but that didn't stop me from trying.

"Enough!" Helen said, suddenly appearing.

We all froze and stopped trying to kill each other.

"Would your wife be happy with you, right now? Would she want you to become a murderer?" Helen asked me.

"I already am a murderer. She is dead! I killed the only woman I ever loved!" I said.

"You are not a murderer. That was an unfortunate accident that will haunt you for the rest of your life. It is my fault. I should have stopped you, but your reaction caught me by surprise. This has never happened to me before and the guilt of what has happened here shall follow me as long as I exist." Helen said.

I was confused by what Helen was saying because I couldn't understand why she thought it was her fault.

"As for you, guys, I want you to leave this moment, and if I ever see you again, I will make it my mission to kill every one of you slowly and painful," Helen told the other vampires.

To my utter surprise, they were gone in a matter of seconds, and Helen and I were left alone with my darling wife's body broken on the ground." Tobias said.

The retelling of the horror story that was his life, seemed to drain him more than it should be possible for a vampire.

As if sensing his tiredness, Helen appeared out of nowhere and helped him drag-walk to his room.

Cecilia was left speechless and with so many questions buzzing through her mind.

What she learned didn't make her hate Tobias, but it did help her understand him better. Her pain seemed pale in comparison.

Although she wanted to know more about him, she was ready to accept not knowing if it would spare him the pain.

Tired of lying around useless, she went outside and took a long walk to think through all that she had done, and all she had learned.