Forcibly married to the person whom rejected me

XXXIII

We all sat silent in this soulless, lifeless, monotonous room. I felt like the white bird that used to visit me before all the chaos that happened in my life after this marriage. I felt like that bird with streaks of gold like a crown shaped atop its head, flying strong and fast, sailing over the world like it knew it all, like it had secrets we weren't to ever suspect. Only this time, it's frozen. I felt like I was caught in an invisible cage, I'm destined to repeat the same motion forever. It seemed the bird was flying, safely, soaring through the clear blue skies. But it's stuck.

"What are you going to do about Prince Quill..?" My mother speaks softly as I see one of Lucas's hands tug on her dress, while he sucks his thumb. "He's no Prince. He is a monster" Caroline speaks. The evilness could be heard through this thick coated melody of sweetness we tend to call words and yet she manages to stay calm. "I'll have to talk to King Henry. He will know what to do" Caroline speaks as she stands up suddenly, ready to go looking for a telephone. Edward stands along side of her and walks her out the room, downstairs, to send this terrible news to King Henry.

As my eyes were taped to their lost presence, I feel a little warm dwarf hug me delicately. The stickiness of the tape, melts away as I look down at Lucas. I smile subtly as I return his comforting hug back. I glance at mother, seeing her beautiful smile spread on her face.

Imagining the sight of father. Proud of us. Proud of me.

"Hey little hero. Why don't you play there" I whisper to Lucas, pointing to the end of this enormous room. I see him as he runs humbly, holding his small teddy bear, dashing away to freedom. My mother comes walking up to me as she sits bedside me. "How did it happen?.." I whisper. The sigh she let out, meant no mercy is ever to come around but I promised to handle it. I promised father.

"Doctors say it's a heart attack.." she softly says. I look at her, staring deeply into her brown, hypnotizing eyes. "and what do you think?...." I ask. "I don't think. I feel it darling. I feel like he was poisoned by one of the villagers." She speaks, voice shaking in process. I raise my eyebrows slightly, unable to comprehend what she just said, "wh-what do you mean poisoned? what happened?".

"Before his death in a week, your father got into a fight with one of the villagers as they were treating me badly and threw some sexual comments at me. And he couldn't handle it." She says, rubbing my palm, knowing the exact knife I'm being stabbed with right now. I gulp the venom that was willing to come out, afraid to lose that will, that will to take revenge one day.

"Honey. Go" the mesmerizing transfix words spill into the empty jar I was, as I get filled with its meaning. I nod slowly as I stand up, taking a small glance at the happy Lucas, who has no care in the world, who's free from everything and everyone. I look back at mother and she nods me away.

I walk through this unknown place, outside. I didn't care if I got lost or maybe killed..all I cared is for this soulless soul I have built in me, breathe for once in a while. Breathe the clear air she has been locked away from. "Hey, midget" a weight hits me in the back. I turn around, my face flexing 43 muscles required to smile before I see him.

Edward.

Big, easy smile. Eyes the color of smoky quartz. Hair even darker, sharper, stick straight and slipping into his shinning eyes. His jaw is twitching and his lips are twitching and the vivid lines of his cheekbones are appled up into a grin struggling to stay hidden. "Where are you heading to?" He says. "Oh this.." I start off, looking around me before completing , "it's nothing. I'm just..taking a walk". "Well may a man join in?" He questions, smirking slightly.

I chuckle at his confidence and I nod in approval. "So, any news about Prince Quill?" I say, turning my head towards him. "Yeah. Well we informed King Henry. And I guess that does it all" he mocks along the last sentence. I smile happily seeing the goofy Edward back. I missed this, I truly do. I feel..

Happy.

Like I'm not even me anymore.

"You know you have a really weird way of telling me you are attracted to me" he says, head high as he raises his eyebrows, feeling really proud to finally be able to say this sentence. "No I don't" I shake my head, trying to bite back my amusement. Edward may not be the one, or at least that's my thought, but I'm sure I'll never forget how much easier it is to breathe when he's around; it seems natural yet unreal. I've been quite careful not to say a word, after the marriage and the oath I carried, but a smile is still tugging at my lips as I hold my scarf down.

A long walk of silence, tension and discomfort gets solemnly interrupted by the words of stinging nettle.  "Forget about him. He's gone" he speaks. "I'm sorry?" I question, completely taken aback by his sudden words. "Oliver. Forget him. He's never coming back" he says. I glance at him and I see this alluring painting of a man with a broken heart; looking straight in front of him and yet sees nothing but pitch black.

I stay silent for a while, swallowing all the agony and pain that begs and begs and begs me to let out. Though, it wasn't the time, not now not ever. "He broke your heart. He tore you apart. I mean I don't get it. What's still there that keeps you hanging from the edge, waiting for hope to arrive." Edward's voice breaks in the middle and so does my heart. "You're right." I say, "he broke my heart, he tore it apart. And I'm still hanging because-

I don't know which piece of my heart to follow".