Forcibly married to the person whom rejected me

XLI

I race this toxic air as I dash through the village to reach my only safe place. Time didn't have any meaning by now, air seemed visible to the naked eye and pain felt too surreal to allow me show self sympathy. I knock desperately on the door and at that moment even the contact between my knuckles and the door felt painful. "Who's there?" I hear Lucas's voice as I then hear my mother opening the door slightly.

"Elizabeth?" Her soft tendering voice broke me down into a pool of tears. She pulled me in and hugged me in silence. I felt safe, I felt protected. I felt Lucas's small arms wrap around me and we all stayed in silence, listening to pain making its way out of me.

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"So you would like to tell me what happened daughter?" My mom said as she makes her way towards me with warm milk in the cup she holds oh so dearly. "I've been really patient about all this, for quite some time" I whisper as I take the cup from her hands. She sat opposite me and as I take a small sip from the warm made milk, I could feel her sympathetic look hug me virtually. "Don't blame yourself. You've got enough on you. Taking care of Lucas and dealing with father's loss all alone" I softly say looking at her.

She shakes her head softly, as the smile plans to stay on despite pain. "It's just the same everyday darling. It's just the same prayer that now failed me" her shaky voice leaves their note to my ear, "The exact nightmare your father and I got, was this. The nightmare to finally see you break down has now come". "Mother..." I whisper as tears fall down her face. I place down the cup and move next to her.

"Don't cry. I'm sorry, I really am. And I plan to stay mother. I plan to stay with you and Lucas" I lay my wishes as I wrap her into my embrace. Seeing her cry, broke me. Shattered the only pieces I had left. However, now I guess I can finally draw a new heart to start new. she moves away slightly and caresses my cheeks, "you don't have to if you don't want to darling. If you love someone, you've got to fight for them. No matter the answer, no matter the fear. Just never live with regret later."

I shut my eyes and I allow my other senses to work after a long time. I felt her tender touch on my cheeks and her soft voice calm the fires in me. And it all felt surreal. It all felt too good.

But I guess that's the gift of being back home.

"Elizabeth" I hear the very familiar soft voice of a young boy on his way to becoming a man. "Lucas?" I open my eyes and shift my body to him. "Lucas, I thought I put you to bed? You should be asleep" mother states. "But I want Elizabeth to put me to sleep mommy" Lucas says all whiny. I look at her and held her hands, "it's alright I'll tug him in. Have some rest". She smiles delicately and nods in agreement. I mouth a 'thank you' to her before I take Lucas into our room.

"Come on little man, you gotta sleep. You have a full day ahead of you." I giggle as I tug him in. "I like your dress" he grins. I sit beside him, "it's great isn't it" I state ruffling his soft hair. His fingers tug slowly at the knitted cover my grandma made old time ago. It feels like yesterday, the day before all the chaos happened where I tugged him and promised him to make him live the proper life without pain's presence.

You kept your promise. Or did you?

"What is running in your head?" Lucas asks pulling me out of my dark hole in my mind. "Nothing" I shake my head, smiling brightly to him. "Elizabeth?" He whispers. "Hmm?" I hum wondering why did he whisper. "Why did you run away from home?" He asks softly. I look at those gorgeous, full of hope, full of love, eyes. And I couldn't help but chuckle a bit, "what do you mean little one? I'm home".

"No. You're home, the castle. Why did you leave?" He clears his question up. I look down and then up at him again, "No one is ought to run from home Lucas. Not unless it isn't home". "But you are a queen.." he whispers. "You're a home to everyone" he says as he looks down at his fingers that are distracted by the knitted blanket. I smile at the mature man in front of me and it felt like I was finally talking to dad. I felt like crying out, I miss him so much, but I know he is around and now that I am, I've got to be strong for my family, for everyone.

"I guess it's just that I need some fresh air to think" I finally answer him and he looks at me and stretches out to hug me. I hug back and it felt like I was holding a glass ball so fragile in a football match. I play with his hair until he falls completely to sleep. I go out to check on mother, who has already fell asleep. I head back into our tiny room and I sit on my bed, as I start to rethink my choices, my decisions.

"You're a home to everyone"

"It's just the same prayer that now failed me"

I don't know what to handle and what to not. However, I guess for now I'll just be Elizabeth. Not a queen, not a princess. Just Elizabeth Connor, a former girl in an old village.

And with that thought, I fell asleep into Neverland.