Reincarnated In An Otome Fashion Game (on Hold)

C 19

Day 29 :

"Fufu~ i really really liked these  powers of mine. From the beginning till the end of these past 3 days... they are just so useful to me.

Even though i kinda doubt them at first, it turns out that they're like the best thing to ever be given to me.

Sure many people seemed to have more cool or better magic than me, but I'm grateful of mine. And i need to always remember that, i couldn't get away easily with anything if this wasn't because of them.

Ahh... i didn't regret anything now. It's already been done. There's that.

Somehow, i felt like my emotions are just vaguely there. I don't know what's happening to me. But i don't think it's that odd since i can't even cry at funerals or get mad when someone did something wrong in my past life.

Ooh maybe I've turn into a psychopath or a sadist ?...

Nah. I've been like that since that day, there's no way i could just suddenly turn into a different person.

Although, maybe I'm a bit of a sadist. If liking my illusions power for torturing messed up people with their own plans counts as being a sadist, then yeah. I'm a sadist then.

And that maid... she was the kind of person that would blame a victim for being murdered instead of the guilty murderer.

I really hate those kind of trash.

Are they really people ?

You see, if you have a good reason as to why you would blame the victim, then i would try to come have a better understanding of the situation. And act accordingly to the proof.

But if you just accuse them of something with false and baseless accusations, then i would need to fix some loose screws in your head.

Because, i hold a special place in my heart for people like that.

The kind of people that would rape and charge the victim with assault attempts because they didn't like to be raped.
The kind of people that thought terrorist attacks was cool if the terrorist was a heroic white guy.
The kind of people that are so entitled to themselves, that they would not care about their surroundings and the other's feelings.

ThE KinD oF pEOpLe thAT WOuLd LAugH iF THeY SAW A YOUNG GIRL BEING ABUSED TO THE POINT OF DYING. And proceeds to post on the internet with writing a tag like "what a loser !".

Wait, ah no. I need to calm down. Or the paper will be torn. My my, I've gotten out a lot of bottled up emotions haven't i ?.

But seriously, the worst kind of people there is, are the ones that agreed with all of the above being alright and acceptable.

I... the world in my past is not so good huh....

I really wished that this game world would be a bit different in terms of human nature and sociology. And it was quite different to say the least.

Yet humans are humans. People are people. That one thing doesn't change as long as your mind is that of a human mind. No matter if you're a demon, a beastman, a child, or a monster.

My definition of humans are like Edward Elrics's. No matter how they looked or how they were sized, if they still have any bit of humanity on them, they still counts as a human.

But if you have already lost all of them, then you would just be considered as a walking biotic thing that just happens to be alive.

In my past life, i really couldn't do anything when i heard of those kind of events. In fact, i just pretend i didn't hear it. There was a time when i couldn't accept the harsh truth of reality. Those were dark times indeed.

Many things happened to me. But i still survived till the end of my days.
.
.
.

You know.... since my illusion powers could basically mess someone's mind, i will use it. I will use and upgrade it until it can't be upgraded anymore.

I will use it for the bad or the good. I don't care if someday i must use it to complicate myself. I will still be proud of my magic.

My crafting powers too, things got so much easier ever since i was given this power. No more sewing, lost items, or buying expensive things. I could just simply make them myself if I'm not lazy.

And about my family and the people around me here.... at least they took care of me like my parents in the past. No, they took care of me more than my parents have ever been.

Is this why i didn't really missed them when i knew i have died ?

I can't really predict myself sometimes.

No, I can't get mad or be disappointed at them for being busy all the time. There were some good memories of us too.

Even though we ended up as a broken family, deep down, i know i still care for them. And they also cared for me that's the truth.

Well, except my little shit of a brother. But i don't really like mentioning him, so let's just assume that i only have my parents and some relatives as my family.

I know i couldn't go back there even if i wanted to. I could only move forward and made some progress in the future for my well being.

Really, i just hope that all of this mess of a life will end peacefully. I wish that i could become a better person somehow.

Even if it's just bit by bit, i want a life where I'm better than myself right now. In the body of a weak soon to be 10 girl. A girl who's been bullied and ignored by others for her 'useless' powers. But was loved by her family even though she distanced herself from them in the past.

Amora really reminds me of myself in the past sometimes.

Hehe, after all, our names have the same meaning as 'love'. How ironic.

The thing is, both of us have received love at some point, but we ourselves couldn't feel any of it being given to us until it was too late. Nor how we couldn't really give the people that we care our true love. Since we thought we haven't experienced something like that.

Ahh.... why do i feel really melancholic today ? There's some nostalgia here too.

Haa... i don't know what's gonna happen in the future, but one thing's for sure, I'm gonna buckle up my seatbelts for this long ride."