Chasing Reality.

4 - Healing takes time.

Clary told Amber to keep her near the window. If she couldn't see anything, she might as well hear the hustle and bustle of life around her. All day people came to see her but she gave  no attention to them, just sat by the window with eyes on the clouds.

Sam has been sitting in the room for ten minutes now but Clary still didn't acknowledge him, and it was getting on his nerves. He runs a lazy hand across his face and sighs deeply. It's Wednesday which means Ronnie has piano practice, she was preparing for her audition for Julliard. So she spent less time with him and it's tasking for him to not disturb her. Which means he has to sit here with a very moody Clary.

"You don't have to sit here and sulk with me y'know." Clary's voice rang loud and clear in the air though she didn't put effort into her speech. She knew someone was in the room with her but she contemplated talking to the person.

The greatest problem with loosing her sight was the constant vulnerability she felt. She didn't know who or what was next to her. It made her feel like a weakling and a liability to everyone.

She tried to tell herself otherwise but she couldn't push the feeling away. After she escaped the party, all she felt was her weakness.  Even if she tried to move on, she would wake up every night in cold sweat because of the nightmares she gets about Michael and Jace capturing her and raping her.

Waking up from nightmares to darkness doesn't do well for one's mind. But she wakes up nonetheless.

Reality will hit again and remind her of her predicament when Amber comes from her morning routine. For now, this is who you are. Just accept it and move on. She thought to herself.

Sam smiled and moved closer to his friend. "You knew I was here all along.
You are one heck of a girl." He finally made her turn her attention inside the room but she still wasn't looking at him. He knew why she he didn't complain.

Clary smiled and turned her head to the room. The voice of the person gave his identity away. "You know me, Wellington. I like to keep people in suspense."

"Is that why you've been ignoring everybody since yesterday?" His voice questioned her. Clary didn't want to say she didn't want them around but truthfully she didn't.

"It's not like that. It's just... It would take some time to get used to this and-"

"I know. But people will get tired of your behavior. It wasn't too long ago you ignored everyone because of Summer's death. Don't push us away again." Sam said, flashing back to the days that followed after Summer's Funeral.

"I won't push anyone away. All I need is time to heal within. I'll be better in no time!" Clary answered him with feigned glee in her voice. She knew she wasn't going to get better anytime soon but if people wanted to believe that, then she'll make them believe.

Sam heaved a sigh of relief. At least Clary's feeling better. He sat down with her on the couch and fiddled with her fingers. When she was asleep, Ronnie would do her nails every week. When he asked her why, she said Clary could wake up anytime, she'd be horrified if she sees how terrible her nails have become.

Well Clary did wake up but she'd never see her nails again.

Sam stared at the colour of the nail polish.

"Ronnie, what are you doing?" Sam asked as soon as he saw Ronnie hunched over Clary.

"I'm strangling her. What do you think I'm doing?" the said girl spat back at him.

"Hey, I'm joking, I'm joking. Since when did you get so temperamental." He said laughing at took a seat near the window.

Ronnie remained silent and turned her attention to Clary's nails. She didn't want to say what was bothering her because she knew tears would always follow. So she made sure Sam didn't see her eyes water or he'd worry about it too. She liked it when he smiled and she promised to keep it this way...till the week ended.