Chasing Reality.

10 - The Hand of God.

Clary eventually decided not to go back to Italy with Milo, Mr Florentino understood but Almira was furious. Diego helped her get through her frustration of being the last girl standing by taking her to a local boxing game. All in all, she recovered and promised to visit after the surgery.

Clary spent her days indoors again. Hard as it was for her, she pushed through her feelings. She didn't notice that she lived for socialization, for the thrill of an adventure, for the feel of a hand or the heat of a person. She didn't know how it happened but she knew it was not the way. She had to find the way.

Six months rolled by like a flash flood. She spent her days sketching, fasting and praying and in the evening, she spent hours with her father searching the scriptures vastly, looking for the way back to God's presence.

It was on a chilly holiday evening, that she heard His voice. After dinner, she went to her room to beseech the Lord on her operation due February. She spent less than thirty minutes in prayer when she felt the room warm-up, like a blanket of a summer sun, chasing the evening cold away.

"Clary, " The voice startled her because she thought someone had sneaked into the room. But she understood it was The Holy Spirit speaking to her audibly, she focused on listening intently. "Yes, Father." She answered.

"Like I was saying the other night, for you to experience these things you desire, you have to give yourself wholly to my ways." He said.

"How, how can I give myself?" Clary asked Him.

"Romans 12: 1-2 says present your body, meaning your everyday life, as a living sacrifice. As a living sacrifice, you burn, even as you live. The fire will kill the flesh and purify your spirit and soul."

It doesn't sound easy, Clary thought.

Answering her thoughts, He said, "Truly it is not, Death on the cross wasn't easy either. But if you choose the Way of death, then you will live eternally."

"But where do I start?" Clary asked wondering.

"From verse two, do not conform to this world but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Bend your soul to the Will of the Holy Spirit."

"My mind cannot comprehend the Will of the Father," Clary said.

"Then stop leaning on your mind, lean on your spirit that lives in the Holy Spirit. Remember it is when it pleases the King that He shows up." Jesus said.

"Take strength and press into the spirit with the Spirit. Good things await you, surely a time of rest will come." He said and the voice faded taking the warmth with it.

"But wait! What about the fact that I have no inspiration. What about the surgery?" Clary tried to call on the voice again but the only thing she heard was silence and the inner witness urging her on to pray. "Alright. I understand, I have heard Your Word and I'll wait to see what You will do with it."

And so she spent her days waiting on the Lord. 

***

"I don't think I can walk anymore, " Ronnie groaned. They came to drop Clary off at the hospital for her surgery in Chicago.

"Well, you pleaded to come didn't you?" Rachel smiled. She had her hands around Ronnie who was getting rounder by the day.

"I was in Chicago, besides this is all Sam's fault." She huffed taking a seat in the doctor's office.

"Yes, blame the man." Clary laughed. She took a spot next to the window, treating herself to the first signs of spring. Rachel sat facing the doctor, looking like a warrior ready for battle.