A Touch Of Sin [BxB]

6.

"How was the rest of your weekend?" Grant asks as we walk to school, our Vans slapping to an uneven beat on the pavement.

I try to keep a neutral look on my face as I shrug. "Non-eventful. Yours?"

"Pretty much the same," he takes a sip of his coffee.

I want to tell Grant about Jake. I really do. But I feel like it's something so extremely intimate and private between us that it would feel like I was exposing us, or something. I don't know. I also feel like it's not something I should share unless Jake is ready for me to, which I'm guessing is a big, fat no.

"Did you message Alice after the party?"

"Oh shit," I sigh. "She messaged me. I never replied."

"Ouch."

"I was... surprised." Grant says cautiously and I notice he's doing that weird thing with his lips that he does when he's feeling a bit awkward. "About you. And Alice."

I roll my lips together. "Mm."

I can see the struggle he's facing. He wants to ask me if I'm gay, but doesn't know how.

"Me too," I eventually say.

Grant's eyes are on the side of my face. "Can I say something without sending like a dick?"

I stop walking and face him. "Sure."

Red splotches have appeared across his neck. He looks like he's swallowed something too big for his throat.

"Say it, Grant, it's okay," I say quietly.

"Are you..." he looks the most uncomfortable I've ever seen him. "I mean, for a while now, I've thought..."

"Thought what?" I ask calmly.

He wants me to just come out and say it, but I don't. I stand there, patiently, waiting. I even sip my coffee.

He exhales. "Cal, is there something you need to tell me?"

I nod. "Yes."

"Is it... that you're..."

"Go on."

"Are you gay?"

It's out. The secret that I've held in for so long. That I tried to suppress.

"Yes," I answer.

He doesn't look surprised. He nods slowly. "Okay."

"Okay."

We continue to walk and I physically feel a weight lift off my shoulders. That was easier than I thought but really, I always knew I could tell Grant. I just let fear overrule me and fill me with anxiety.

"Why did that happen with Alice on the weekend? Was it just an experiment, or?"

I chew at my lip. I love Grant. He's my best friend. But I don't know if I can tell him this.

"There's someone," I begin and now I'm the one who is feeling awkward. "I don't know. I guess I just acted out. I wanted to know if they cared. If they felt the same about me."

"Do they?"

I nod. "Yeah. I think they do."

"That's cool, Cal. I'm happy for you," he says and bumps my shoulder. "Can I know who?"

"Not yet. Is that okay?"

"Of course." He glances at me and I look away. I feel like he can see the answers in my eyes. "Poor Alice. I feel sorry for her. Hope she doesn't think she turned you, when this all comes out."