A Touch Of Sin [BxB]

39 | Final Chapter

This was hard to write through the tears... s'all I'm gunna say

I stand, staring into my room, trying to figure out how I'm feeling.

It's silly, in reality, because it's not like I'm leaving forever. Nothing is going to change. No one else will use this room, everything will stay where it is. But, will I change? Will I still be the same person? A year might be nothing to some, but it's a lot to me.

I lightly tap my hand to the wooden door frame, as if saying a gentle goodbye to my room. An unfamiliar, squeamish feeling has entered my stomach as I trot down the stairs.

"You ready?" Ma asks, sliding her bag over her shoulder and flicking a bit of her hair behind her ear.

"As ready as I'll ever be."

With one hand, I reach for my suitcase and the other swings my carry-on behind my back. My eyes roam the street, the lawns, my driveway, before I sigh, climbing into the car.

I think about Jake on the drive to the airport. They gave us a rough estimate of a date we'd be flying out but then sprung it on us that I was leaving sooner than anticipated. Jake is at work and had a big blow up about the fact that he wasn't driving me, but I explained to him that his job is more important and that he can meet me there when he's finished. He wasn't happy about it, that's for sure.

I don't know how to say goodbye to him. Last time we were in this situation, he was the one leaving. No goodbye. No explanation. He was just... gone.

Ma has been talking the entire trip. I know I should be engaging, since I won't be seeing her for a long time, but I can't stop thinking about Jake. Leaving him is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.

There are cars everywhere when we arrive. It's a bit of a blur, moving from the car, to into the airport.

I think I'm hallucinating when I see a jet of blonde hair streaking towards me. Ellie launches herself into me and I lose my balance, both of us toppling to the floor. I let out a laugh as she clings to me tightly, before we scramble to our feet, earning some seriously weird stares from bystanders.

"What are you doing here?" I ask breathlessly.

"You didn't think I'd come to your send off?" she rolls her eyes with a smile.

"You didn't have to come," I say to her. "But I'm glad you did."

She beams at me, before squeezing my shoulder.

"You ready for this?" Haze asks, coming forward and clapping hands with mine.

"Nope," I admit.

"You'll be back before you know it," he assures me.

"You planned this?" I ask Ma.

She gives me a proud smile. "Sure did."

We check my luggage in and that's when it begins to sink in.

I'm leaving.

I feel a little robotic as we go to the food court. I have no appetite but order a chicken sandwich anyway. I'll feel worse if I don't eat.

"Nervous?" Ellie asks me, eyeing my face thoughtfully.

"Only a lot," I reply.

When we sit, conversation rolls, as it always does when Ellie's around, which seems to soothe the anxiety bubbling inside me. I'm glad they're here but it's only going to make it harder to leave. I'm praying hard that this is the right decision.