A Touch Of Sin [BxB]

28.

Cover by: janawael678 - thank you so much!

I can barely breathe. The world around us is moving but we both stay sitting, gazes locked on each other.

He knows.

This isn't how this is meant to go. I'm meant to come out gradually and how I want to, with Jake by my side. Not like this. Not from him.

The warning bell blares overhead but neither of us move. I can see the wheels turning inside his mind, trying to figure it all out. I feel trapped inside my own, paralysed body. The drumming of my heart beat has drowned out all other sounds.

Guy slowly stands, running his tongue across his teeth, a satisfied smirk on his face.

Thomas begins to talk to me but his words don't sink in. I pull away from the group. I'm walking inside but it feels like I'm watching myself do it. People brush by me, talking, laughing, acting as if the entire world hasn't just erupted around them.

My breathing is getting shorter and shorter. Black dots are swimming across my vision. I feel my shoulder hit one, maybe two people. I push through the door and stagger into the bathroom stall, my bag slipping from my shoulder. Sweat is dripping down my forehead. My knees knock together.

Placing my hands firmly against the cubicle wall, I force myself to stay upright.

I can't breathe.

I'm yanking my jacket off. I tug at my collar. I reef off my shirt. Nothing is working. I can't see. I can't think. I fall to my knees, before I hurl my lunch into the toilet bowl.

This is my far the worst panic attack I've ever experienced.

"It's okay, I'll be okay, it's okay," I whisper over and over, my eyes screwed shut. I cradle my head in my hands, begging myself to calm down.

I say those words on repeat, trying to convince myself that this isn't the end of the world.

My heart rate is jumping. I'm going to be sick again.

With trembling fingers, I ring Jake.

"Hey, aren't you supposed to be in sport?" Jake answers.

"J," I croak out.

"What's going on?" he replies immediately.

"Guy saw my phone when you rang," I gasp, my throat feeling like it's tightening. "I changed your contact name and photo... this is all my fault. I'm so sorry."

"What are you talking about?" he asks in panic.

"Guy knows!" I cry, hot tears spilling down my cheeks. "I'm having a panic attack. I can't breathe."

I can hear Jake's laboured breathing on the other end.

"Where are you?" he demands.

"Bathroom near H Block," I gasp out. "J, I need you."