A Touch Of Sin [BxB]

17.

Callum's POV:

For the next two weeks, I eat, sleep, study and repeat.

Immersing myself into school is the only thing keeping my mind distracted. I've been trying to avoid my friends as much as possible because Kat hates Lena, Lena hates Kat, Spud is best friends with Jake now and Bec for some reason reminds me of the night everything went wrong. Basically, I just hate myself and don't want to be around anyone.

I'm so far ahead of my study schedule that I feel like I've taught the entire syllabus to myself already. I've completed my second assessment, even though it isn't due for another month. It's quite satisfying to be so organised but I also fear it might reach a point where I run out and everything will catch up to me. But then I remember it's university and it's extremely overwhelming and no matter what, I will always be stressed and have something to do. Which is kind of a good thing right now.

I've also joined the university gym and have been attempting to go three afternoons a week, which makes me feel both mentally and physically better when I've finished. It's mainly at night, trying to fall asleep, when everything starts to gnaw at me and my insides feel like they're shrivelling up.

After I walk into our apartment, I toss my bag at the end of my bed and kick my shoes off. Spud appears from the shower, his hair flattened and sagging down his shoulders from the water.

"Hey dude," he greets me with a goofy grin.

"Hey Spud."

I beeline to the fridge and reach for a coke. I feel a bit lost. It's Friday night and I always have something to do, but since I've been avoiding everyone, I don't have any plans. I'm getting a bit over having my head jammed in a textbook.

"What are you up to?" I ask Spud when he's in the loungeroom later, sliding his Vans onto his feet.

"I'm heading to the football game. It's their first one of the season."

"The university football team?" I question.

"Nah, the local Westcom team."

"Oh," I say.

"I'd ask you to come, but, I'm going to watch Jake," he explains awkwardly. "You can still come, though. If you want to."

"Jake's playing football?" I ask in surprise.

"Yeah."

We stare at each other in an awkward silence, before Spud heads back to his room to finish getting organised. I pull my phone out and with trembling fingers, I dial Jake's number.

"Callum," he says upon answering and his voice makes me feel all tingly.

God, I miss him so much.

"Hey," I say softly.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing, um, Spud just told me about your game tonight and, well, I was hoping to come watch you. But if you'd rather me not be there, I understand."

He's quiet and I begin twisting my fingers together to the point it becomes painful.

"Um," he eventually says. "Yeah, sure. I guess."

"You can say no. I don't want to distract you or you know, if you don't want to see me..."

"It's fine, we don't have to speak."

My heart sinks.

"It doesn't have to be that way, J."

I hear the slight intake of breath as I say my nickname for him and I close my eyes, feeling pained.