I'm Alive (BWWM)

CH. 26 Isn't this for the best?

CH. 26 Isn't this for the best?

(Melanie POV)

*Flashback memories*

I was in a room, painting something that I knew I drew.

It was a dark room, there were beds in the room. I had bodies laying on the bed.

The painting I was looking at had so many emotions run through my body.

I was feeling a roller coaster of emotions that I just couldn't get rid of, so I had to show them.

I had to get the images on something, I couldn't forget the images in my head but I needed to at least put them on display.

So it could be shown what I've seen, so it could be shown what I keep seeing.

"Little mouse." A voice said pulling me out of the state I was in, I lowered the paint brush and turned around to find Dalton staring at me with a concerned look.

When his stare move to the painting, he flinched.

"Melanie." He started to say but I cut him off quickly by shaking my head.

"I can't forget Dalton, you know what these things do to me. I have to draw it and paint it out, I have to get the pictures out, I need to get the visual out so others can know that this is what is going on, that this is what it's like." I said in a serious tone.

"I can't forget about the others. I just can't, they're still in there. They need to be saved. I can't just go on with my life when they can't, when they're still trapped in there. That monster still has them." I said.

"The police and the FBI will find him," Dalton said in a soft voice.

"No, no they won't. Not unless they have help. Not unless they're given something that can help them find him because from what I've been seeing. They won't be able to, it's going to have to be up to me and Tiara. Maybe we'll get help along the way but it's going to be us that brings him down." I said.

I watched as Dalton shook his head.

"Melanie that's dangerous. You can't do that baby. It's not safe." Dalton said and I could tell he was scared about the words that were coming out of his mouth.

I could tell that he was trying to be careful with what he was trying to say and the truth was, I couldn't blame him.

He had to be careful around me, ever since I came back all he's been doing was being careful about everything.

Being careful about what he said, being careful about what he did and being careful about how he looked at me.

I am currently unstable right now, ever since I came back. I've been afraid of being touched.

Not by him, I know Dalton loves me inside and out but I was so disgusted with myself.

I'm traumatized. I don't want to confuse Dalton loving touches with those monster touches.

My body was used multiple times by a monster, I was taken advantage of. The only person who knew my body, who knew my insides were Dalton and now someone else stole that from us.

I was scared that Dalton would be afraid to love me the same.

That we couldn't go back to how we were before, that we couldn't go back to how we would make love or be intimate with each other.

I was afraid that I would keep flinching or memories from those horrible times would pop in if we tried.

I didn't want to confuse the lovemaking Dalton and I shared. With the torture and suffering that we have gone through.