I'm Alive (BWWM)

CH. 38 I want to know

CH. 38 I want to know

(Melanie POV)

I wrapped my arms around myself not knowing what else to do, I felt like I had no control over my life this very moment and maybe that's because it was true.

That I didn't have any control of my life.

I don't have control over my memories. I don't have control of what's happening to me. I didn't have control of what had happened to me, I am not having control of anything in my life right now and something tells me that I with the memories would not have allowed that or accepted that at all what so ever.

Silence had fallen between us until Kassie spoke, probably realizing the silence is unbearable.

Kassie started talking about how it didn't make sense when it came to her and although I was contributing to the conversation, I felt far from it.

My mind was on the baby, on the baby that I had lost.

A baby that was apart of me and Dalton, a baby that I didn't even remember losing but I found myself wanting to go in a corner and cry. To grieve the child I have lost.

He felt the need to take my child away from me.

He felt the need to take control of my life, to torture me and to do whatever he pleased with me.

I felt anger inside of me, I wanted him found, I wanted the other women that were still being kept captive by him saved.

I wanted him brought down.

Maybe I even wanted him dead.

No, I want him dead.

He doesn't deserve to be alive.

He's done horrible things to a lot of people, he has destroyed many lives and hurt many people.

Why should he be living? Why should he able to walk with no worry because no one knows his identity.

How dare he feel like he is just able to ruin people's lives like this?

This was disgusting, I was tired of this.

This is all his fault, his fault I don't have my memories, his fault that I lost my child, his fault that I was in a coma, his fault that I was abused and suffered from it, his fault that Dalton is the way that he is right now when it comes to his family.

It was all of this monster's fault.

As we continued to talk and discuss things that had to do with the board that Kassie had.

"So what are we hoping for? That he would make a mistake while we are trying to get on to him and trying to find out who he is?" I asked.

"That and we are going to find out who he is, we need to meet up with that FBI agent who you felt like you knew and who was staring at you that way," Kassie said.

I nodded my head.

I was the one who brought this up after all, but it was something that intrigued me

There has to be a reason why I felt like I knew him the way I did and he seemed to look at me the same way as well.

"Do you have any idea how they have known each other?" Kassie asked Tiara, I watched as Tiara glanced at me and let out a sigh.

I was wondering why she did that, we've established that there was no affair going on.

"I honestly don't know, I know for sure that she wasn't having an affair with him," Tiara said.