Lightness Within All (Paul Lahote)

Bellas side

The weeks had passed since Baylas decision and every day that passed got more difficult. Paul had been supportive at first, but as time past and the fear spiked in all of the shapeshifter and bayla continued to visit the Cullens, mainly Bella, daily, it brought an unwanted drift between the two.

As Bayla shoved in a few bites of the leftover pepperoni pizza that was in the fridge from the previous night Paul watched with dull eyes and a tired expression from the many shifts of patrol.
"Are you going over there?" He asked, the distaste not hidden in his voice that caused bayla to sigh and shove the pizza box into the fridge and close the fridge door. She knew he didn't like the Cullens, and practically hated them now that she was beginning to get close to them.

"Yes...dont know why you ask that when you know the answer"Bayla said as she slipped on her grey sweatshirt, not wanting the crisp of Autumn to chill her. Despite being "Gifted" she found her self only warm when she was in wolf form, and she was glad she still had that human quality of her left. Paul looked down at his hands as he spoke, not wanting to fight with his imprint, but not wanting her to leave as well.

"Hoping one day you'll give me the answer I want to here" Paul said. Bayla rolled her eyes and walked over to the couch where he was sitting, almost sulking, and grabbed his hand.

"Im not choosing any side and you know that....ill be back for dinner, I love you ok" Bayla said. Although she used to wait for the 'I love you too' that Paul always said, she only found herself walking out of the door before he could say it as the weeks passed and apart of her didn't even care. Instead she found herself excited to return to the Cullens and see how Bella was doing.

Bella hadn't looked well as the weeks drifted, her brown hair now becoming stringy and lifeless only to be pulled up in a bun or braided by Rosalie, her eyes becoming duller by the seconds, she became weak and sick before the new diet that consisted of cups of blood, and the thing that scared bayla the most was how close they had become. She didn't know if it was the hormones Bella had, or the overwhelming feeling of fear and anxiousness that everyone seemed to have, but as they sat talking on the Cullens couch bayla couldn't help but to wish it was would always be that way.

"So tell me more about the...wolf thing. I mean how does that work? Are you like Jake?" Bella asked as she sipped the cup that only led bayla to hold down her vomit at the thought of her sister drinking the human blood.

"Well not really, I mean yea we turn into the same creature but I'm not like them completely.We found that out a few weeks ago." Bayla said as she pulled the blanket up past Bella stomach, as she notice how she shivered slightly.

"What do you mean?" Bella asked, the curiosity laced in her voice as Edward listened on to the conversation.

" I can heal fast like they do, faster than a normal human does, but not as fast as the Pack. If, lets say Jake, if Jake was to get cut it would would take him a hour to completely heal but it would take me a day or two and the pack, they are always warm temperature and I'm not, but I'm glad, I like to feel the cold, the only thing we really share in common is that we shift." Bayla said as she shrugged her shoulders as if it were the most normal thing in the world. Bella smiled at her sister and rubbed her stomach.  From the chair Edward perked up and then sat back down , as bayla threw him a confused look.

"A few of my family members are going hunting" Edward said, as his dark eyes showed that he too was thirsty but too afraid to leave Bella in the state that she was in.

"Who?" Jake asked from the corner of the room, knowing there was no way they would get past Sams Patrol team unless they had help.

"Carlise, Esme, and Emmett" Edward said. Jake looked at Bayla and she only looked down, not wanting to choose a side if he asked her to help, only listening as he left and slammed the door behind him.
"He's mad at you" Edward said. Bayla sighed and nodded, already knowing almost everyone was .
"I know.." she said.
"You don't have to choose sides and I think your doing the right thing" Edward said with a faint smile, knowing deep down Bayla was feeling guilty from not choosing a side .

Bayla looked at him with a sorrowed look, the bags under her eyes evident as she spoke.
"Am I? It seems like everyone is mad at me. Sam, Paul, now Jake. I just hate being in the middle of this. No matter what I do someone's mad." Bayla said as she begin pacing back and forth, ignoring jasper as he came into the room.
"I understand. You choose to defend our family and Sam gets mad. You choose Sam's side and you feel like we will never forgive you...that's not true though Bayla. You can go to Sam's....side. We will understand" Edward said , knowing it was taking its toll on Bayla.

She shook her head and sighed, hating that she had no choice in the matter and looked at him with sad eyes that was brimmed with tears.
"That's the thing. I don't want to choose a side. I shouldn't have to. I love the pack, but I've grown close to your family too.. I was mad at first about the baby but now I see it differently.. I just shouldn't have to choose..and I won't" Bayla said.

Edward nodded, though he knew she had already chosen and that side was with Bella. As she helped her daily with the baths she needed, bringing her cups of blood, even brushing through her hair she had chosen, even if she hadn't realized.