Secrets

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I sat down on my boyfriend's bed, his phone lodged in my hands as i tried to hold it in the air and keep it away from him, but failed as my height was much shorter than his and he could easily reach it. He laughed, pulling it from my soft hands and rolling over so that he was sitting on top of me. Small giggles left my mouth as his hands pinned me down from my wrists.

With his phone in one hand, the other held me down carefully. Daniel leaned down, pecking my lips softly. Smiles reached my face as i attempted to lean up and kiss his lips again. He rolled over beside me, his back hitting hard against the bed and his fingers going back to tapping at his screen.

"dannyyy" i whined and he put his phone in his pocket, his fingers being brought to his lips as if to silence me.

"the guys are home, y/n," he warned and i tried my hardest not to roll my eyes.

"get off your phone then," i scold and then whine again, quieter this time, "pleaseee"

he sat up, showing me his phone and then setting it down on the dresser, going back to looking at me. i sit up as well, letting him pull my body close to his and hugging me tightly, "hey, i love you"

A small smile appears on my face as i looked down happily, "i love you too"

he looks at me and a giggle leaves his lips as we stare into each other's eyes. we were never the serious couple, with the lovey-dovey moments. comedy was our specialty. our lips connect again as i sat criss-cross on his bed.

as i was about to say something to him, a knock came at the door and stress hit my body. Daniel sent me a pleading look as he quickly called out, "yeah what's up?"

"hey, man. i just need to grab something," It was Jack. Or supposedly Jack, since I never seemed to be able to meet the famous roommates. It was painful, sure, but we did it for the right reasons. It would hurt people too much if we came out with our relationship.

A frustrated look came upon my face as Daniel looked guilty, but i quickly scurried towards the closet, shoving my body inside, "sorry, coming"

once i was secure, i heard the door open and footsteps came close. it was a few moments before jack spoke up, "hey, who were you talking to in here earlier?"

"oh, facetime with anna," he easily lied, which made me feel more guilty than frustrated, "sorry, were we loud?"

"no, not really," Jack said, "heard when i was walking by. Tell her i say hello next time"

"will do," Daniel replied and then i heard the door close. i waited until daniel came to open the closet, and then i popped out.

daniel gave me half a smile as i took another seat on his bed for the second time today. i wanted to smile back at him, but nothing inside of me could bring myself to feed him anything other than a frown.

as much as i wanted to give him the world, i just didn't understand how to go on like this for the rest of my life. and we each said that eventually we'd come forward and have this relationship be part of not only our lives but others' too, but three years went by so quickly and now i'm stuck being a secret love.

it started as a secret when we met because we were each in separate relationships. i had a boyfriend of several months, who i loved dearly, and daniel had been seeing someone for a little while too. it was cheating, we cheated. we both understand the complications of that and we understood that it was unfair to do that to our partners, and yet we couldn't stay away. it wasn't fair, especially when it took three months and several occasions until we'd told our partners. it wasn't right, but it was us. we did it and now we seem to be living in this stupid lie we'd created to avoid scandals.

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