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Wiping my puffy red eyes yet again I huff loudly looking at the many unpacked boxes sitting infront of me.
It's been 5 months since me and Chris broke up and I've been a complete reck. Stressing myself to the point where I can't think...crying to the point to where I can't see straight.
I lowkey haven't bathed in about 4 days...
Haven't ate in a week..didn't eat for two weeks after the day we broke up..after that it was simply junk food. Like chips, cookies, icecream..
This shit is taking a huge toll on me and I have no one to blame but myself...
And trey nappy headed ass. He still text and calls my phone apologizing for what happened but still tried to gather up some type of relationship since in not with Chris anymore.
I could have stopped it before it went there but something made me crave what was happening..
I'm beyond disgust with myself. Seeing Chris so enraged and then break down into tears broke my heart. Having everyone think he'd be the one to do me wrong when that was not it at all...
He didn't even bring the whole break up onto social media..expose me like I thought he would.
Simply told his fans that we decided we where better off as friends.
I felt horrible..he was letting me keep my reputation after what I had did. I deserved all bad things that where thrown my way..
I remember it like it was yesterday...the day I lost my everything..the person who loved and appreciated me for me, gave me any and everything I did or didn't ask for. He loved me more than my words could ever express..
Flashback
"C-Chris...I'm so sorry..I-I don't know what gotten into me..h-he I-"i stumbled over my words being cut off by a infuriated chris.
"NO! NO! Y'all knew exactly what the fuck y'all where doing! A-And in our bed? Were we lay our heads at y/n...where I make love to you at! That shit is so foul! And with one of my bestfriends? Really! You'd stoop t-that low?" He yelled pacing around the room occasionally hitting things.
"I swear I didn't meant for it go that far! H-he came onto me and I-I tried to stop it chris I swear! Then..then I just-I.." I panicked trying to explain what exactly made me agree to tremaine's request to seduce me.
"You what? Stop allat stuttering! I don't give a FUCK if he came onto you! You allowed it to further into something deeper. Your both in the wrong! Why did you really do it y/n? D-did I do something wrong? Am I n-not fulfilling all your desires? Am I not spoiling you enough? Huh? Am I just not fuccin good enough? WHY! Why'd you do it?! I love you y/n! That's all I ever do is love you..I-I give you my all..I-I make you my number one priority..I-I treat you the way I think you'd like to be treated..I give you all of me...someone people don't get that far with me! I have trust issues and you know that shit! I'm quick to shut someone out but i felt like you were..m-my person.S-someone I confide in! A-and after all I do to make sure you know what you mean absolutely everything to me y-you go and do some shit like this?!" He yells hot tears streaming down his face. Mines beginning to fall aswell seeing him so worked up.
