Is this unrequited? | Chaelisa

32. Priest help me

Rosé pov:
I wake up and feel the warmth of Lisa's body surrounding me. She smelt like daisies. I looked up at her and couldn't help but smile.

Am i really finally getting to have what i've wanted all this time?

I know she said she doesn't want anything serious but, i can't help it. When you love somebody you will to do anything for them. I'm okay waiting for her, if she likes me she likes me right? And it only takes so long till like turns into love... right?

I grab my phone to have a look at the time.

Oh shit. Its Sunday.

I have to go to church. I quickly get up making sure not to wake Lisa.

It was routine. It was sanity. It was comfort. Every Sunday i would go to church. Listen to the weekly sermon and pray.

Usually i'd pray for Blackpink to meet peoples expectations, i'd pray for the wellbeing of the girls and my family but lately, i had been praying to become a less jealous person.

Being jealous or should i say, envious is one of the 7 deadly sins stated in the Bible, so, as a Christian i knew that this was something i needed help on.

Every time i'd see Lisa give attention to somebody that wasn't me i would get jealous, i knew it was unhealthy and i knew i should stop. But, now that we've taken things that little bit further, i'm hoping i will be able to change my prayers and perhaps pray for something a little less selfish.

I had my manager drive me to the church. I get there just before the sermon starts.

The sermon is on love. The Pastor talks about how the Lord loves all and how there are many rooms in his house in a way to show support for same sex relations but i can't help but to overhear people around me talking about how God would never agree with those kind of relationships.

I hate it. Why can't we just love who we love and that be enough?

It shouldn't matter who i want to give my love and affection too, there are much bigger problems in the world. Despite knowing all of this i can't help but to feel guilty about my feelings for Lisa... are they really wrong?

It was the third Sunday of the month which meant there were confessions going on today... maybe i should confess i like girls... maybe it will help me get some perspective on whether it really is wrong.

I make my way into the confessions booth. I sit there for a few seconds before i hear the priest cough.

Maybe i should begin.

I clear my throat.

"Forgive me lord, for i have sinned. This is uh... my first confession" i say trying to figure out how to say it.

I sit there in silence again, i feel very nervous and afraid. Im scared, what if my love for Lisa is wrong. What will i do then? Perhaps its better not to find out...

"Continue Child. Im listening" the Priest speaks up.

Okay, maybe not. Here goes nothing.

"I have something to confess" i say.

Well thats a dumb thing to say at a fucking confession session. Good start Rosie. I think to myself as i mentally face palm myself.

"I uh... i like somebody... but, i don't know if God would approve" i slowly say. As i hear the words come out my mouth, instantly i realise how absurd it all sounds.

"And why would he not my child?" The Priest asks me.

"Well, its, um... i like a girl... i, she- she was my best friend and i, i'm sure i love her now" i let out.