Is this unrequited? | Chaelisa

44. C'est toi

Lisa pov:
Chaeyoung texted me last night to let me know she had landed in France. Its always hard when one of us is far away like in Europe as the time difference is always so huge. Right now, the difference in time between here and France was 8 hours.

It is hard because even if you want to talk to someone badly you literally cannot. It is almost impossible to get them at the right time.

I miss her a lot. Its only been a day without her but with each continuing day I am falling for her. I didn't think I'd fall in like this but, here I am.

I didn't want this. I wanted lighthearted and chill but, she makes me want to do everything with her, share everything with her, be with her.

Is this crazy?

I don't know if I can do right by her.

I always mess up now and then and that too, without realising.

Its just natural to me to be a touchy person and compliment people and kiss them but... if Rosie and I were to ever get serious I dont know if I would be able to stop that.

Its not because I'd want more than her but just because its how I've always been: a flirt.

How could I just stop one day talking to the other girls in the way I do? Not kiss them? Not mess around with them? It would be weird no?

But again, Rosie was always different in my eyes.

Rosé pov:
I was due to begin getting ready for my appearance at fashion week but I'm still sat here in the dressing room unready.

I am beyond excited for tonight but, I'm nervous. Its my first time doing something like this. I'm afraid. What if no one knows me?

What if people ask who is this girl?

What if people question why I'm here?

What if they have no clue who I am and when I walk out no one bothers to take photos of me?

I shake myself out of my negative thoughts. I need to work on reframing my negative framework of thoughts. It does me no good to just sit here and spiral, thinking about everything that could go wrong.

I wish I had one of my self books on me, something to just help me calm down, but I don't. So instead, I pull out the next best thing.

I pull out my Iphone from my purse and unlock the screen to find a photo of Lisa and I. I look down at it and smile.

How is it the one person who makes me the happiest in the world is the same one person who can make me feel like my world is crashing?

I wish she would just decide what she wanted.

I love her and I don't know how much longer I can remain in this limbo.

Does she love me or does she not?

I love her.

I'm even she knows by now how deep I am in with this.

Why doesn't she just love me back already?

I hear the makeup artist and hair stylist finally reappear. I put my phone away and let them do their job.

•••

A few hours later I'm ready to walk out to my first shoot.

I get out the car and am surrounded by flashing lights and cameras everywhere.

Maybe people do know me.

I hear people calling my name and people asking me to sign their belongings. I'm not allowed to sign anything but still, I reach out and quickly sign one album before my manager gets a hold of my hand.