Is this unrequited? | Chaelisa

41. Realisation

Lisa pov:
Today is the day of our rehearsals. To be honest I don't know why I feel nervous since its just Rosie and J but maybe, that's exactly why I feel nervous?

The two of us singing a song about love when we haven't even spoken about what it is we're doing. Kind of ironic no?

I get out of my bed and check the time. I still had an hour till I had to meet Chaeng at the dance studio. She said she wanted to direct everything and even style our outfits.

Knowing her style, she will probably make sure we're both in skirts for the stage.

I quickly check to make sure my legs have been shaved - thank god they have been.

I pull on some tracksuits, a black vest and an oversized denim jacket.

Yup. Im going for the extra gay look today I guess.

I put my hair into a bun.

I take a seat on my bed and pull out my phone.

I had a few text messages and a bunch of instagram notifications.

My friend Niki just texted me. Niki and I... well, I had a really big crush on her I won't even lie and when I eventually got to meet here while we were in America, I think we kinda made ourselves look like idiots.

But, after managing to explain ourselves the next day, our friendship just blossomed.

I asked Niki if she was into guys the first day we met. Yep, I'm just that subtle.

I think she got offended by my bluntness and she said yes nonetheless. However, that night, a few glasses of wine later on a cold, wet field we were sat on, she put her hand on my thigh as she turned to look at me.

I can vividly remember even now how it felt. Every hair on my body raising up, giving me goosebumps.

As I turned to face her and was about to lean in and finally grasp the lips I found oh so attractive into mine, her best friend interrupted us, unknowing of what was just about to happen.

Im glad he did though, because, that is what made Rosie my first kiss with a girl.

I shake my head as I recollect my memories.

I never told any of the girls about that, at the time, I was shaken up and was freaked out that I was just about to risk everything I've worked for in a not so accepting country for a kiss with a girl I had only just met. Albeit, she was once upon a time, one of my biggest girl crushes.

I find myself going back to the text message that caused me to take this sudden trip down memory lane.

She texted me the lyrics to the new song she'd be releasing in a few months and, there were some lyrics in particular that made me think about whether she wrote them thinking of me.

While I'm on Sunset are you on the subway
While I drive are you gettin' on the L-train
I mean, Manhattan's nice, but so are Malibu nights
You would know if you stayed,
you would know if you put up a fight

Your toes turn blue in winter, I'm getting red
Rum does the trick for all of the things left unsaid
I'm missin' our drunken 2AM strolls in K-Town
Now you're chasing fake highs in the Upper West Side

Im probably over thinking it because although Niki and I only got to spend 2 days together in person, when she came backstage after one of our concerts she apologised to me. She said that she was drunk and being silly. That she didn't want to make me uncomfortable like that but, little did she know, as much as I freaked out afterwards, a part of me was disappointed nothing happened.