Beautiful Crazy

Part 28: I am the Female Body Inspector

Unedited:::

"Elizabeth, I am the FBI" Clayton says as he picks his nose then flicks the freaking booger at me.

"You what?"

"I am the Female Body Inspector."

"I've noticed"

"Be right back!" Clayton runs out of my room but soon comes back with his huge speaker.

"I was gonna clean my room until I got high." Clayton yells/ sings.

"I was gonna get up and find the broom but then I got high." I loudly sing as me and Clayton dance around the room.

"My room is still messed up and I know why why, man?
Yeah, hey
'Cause I got high
Because I got high
Because I got high"

My door busts open and there stands dad.

Me and Clayton freeze with wide eyes and eyeball each other.

"Y'alls asses better not be getting high, I'll call grandma."

"Mmmhm and I'll tell mom that you forgot that y'all's anniversary was tomorrow." Clayton shrugs then raises his eyebrows up at dad.

"Why did I have kids." Dad mutters as he walks out of my room.

"Because your pull out game was weak!" Clayton yells out.

"Clayton!" I slap his shoulder but he just laughs.

"What it's true! If mom wasn't on that shot thing we would have little siblings running around everywhere! Dad can't keep it in his pants."

"Oh my gosh shut up,"

"You wanna go get a pedicure with me?" I ask Clay as I put a jacket over my long sleeve.

"Hell yeah school stressed me the fuck out, also I want my feet being smooth as fuck for Saturday. You know why?" Clay winks then smiles like a loon.

"Champion Ship game?"

"Hell yeah! Now lets go!" Clay throws me over his shoulder then takes off down the stairs.

"Where in the lords name are you going with your sister throw over your shoulder?" Mom asks as she throws a dish rag over her shoulder and places her hand on her hip.

I lift my head up and give mom a grin.

"We going to get pedicures," Clay kisses moms cheek then heads out the door.

Clayton puts me in the passenger seat then runs around to his side.

"Yay music time! I'm gonna start a show called 'Sing Along With Bitch Ass Clayton'." Clayton looks at me for conformation and I just nod my head.

We soon make it onto the highway and then starts Clays music.

"She said look ma' no hands
She said look ma' no hands
And no darling I don't dance
And, I'm with Roscoe, I'm with Waka
I think I deserve a chance
I'm a bad mothafucka'
Gon' ask some mothafuckas
A young handsome mothafucka'."

Oh. My.  God.

Clayton's rolling his hips around in his seat as he yells the words out the window.

Every car we pass is staring at him like we are crazy, which I don't blame them. Clayton is a very interesting person.

I have to force him to turn the music down when we pull into the nail salon because there are tiny children running around and their ears or eyes don't need to witness Clayton's hip rolling or singing.