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Recovery was a slow process. Movement impossible. All she could manage was a smile from time to time.
Jay wasn't strong enough to stand yet, but he could keep them both upright. He was playing with her hair, but his mind was like hers and at rest.
You know all those people who say they've had their minds blown? They weren't even close. She'd just went into sensory overload. It wasn't an unpleasant situation. Quite the opposite actually but it had completely destroyed her ability to function.
She was completely, without a doubt head over heels in love with the boy at her side but it wasn't just that anymore. He had thought they were connected to each other last time, but that wasn't even close and after what they just shared; she knew they weren't even as close as they could be.
He was still holding back.
Not that she was complaining. No complaining here. She'd never felt better in her whole life. She smiled again.
Her head felt full of fluff and her body felt heavy and tingly all at the same time. Know what came after going up in flames? Flying with the stars then drifting back to earth like a feather in a breeze.
"Don't look at me like that. I gave you exactly what you've been wanting."
Not exactly. He'd given her so much more than that.
That is how much I want you. You think you know but you have no clue. You think you want me more but that would be impossible. Beyond impossible. You don't need a plan, Paisley. You don't need to do anything more than just be you. Just holding your hand can make me forget every bad thing that's ever happened to me. Holding you. Kissing you. All of it is the sweetest pleasure that you can imagine.
He touched her face. Maybe because I never knew anything so perfect could be mine.
"I've always been yours."
"And I'm yours."
He was content to hold her for a long time before he spoke again. "I think I know why you've been.... especially eager to be close to me. It's not my sex appeal, but it is my fault. We are connected, but we're not whole yet. Not until I stop holding things back from you, and until we are, you will feel like you're not whole. Like you need something that is missing. I shouldn't have played around with something I didn't understand. Every time I merge our minds like that, I'm taking more of you away and not giving enough of myself back to you."
She touched his chin. She loved the stubble and wished he'd forget to shave more often. "I'm good, Jay. Better than good. I soared with the stars and you were with me."
He gave her a sad little smile. "You sound like you're still up in those stars."
"And you're still with me." She kissed the side of his neck. I love you. We have plenty of time to get it right. Everything you give to me, it's enough. It's more than most people will ever experience in their life. Even sex couldn't be better than what you just gave me.
She felt his grin.
"Oh, it will be better. No doubt there."
She kissed the side of his neck again. "No hurries. I figure you have a week or a little less before I'm attacking you again."
"I have your secret for today." He whispered.
Paisley sat up straighter. "You don't have to. Not until you're ready."
As he placed a kiss to her lips, she felt his need to do this. Now while he still felt this close to her.
His voice was no more than a whisper and she knew he was worried about what he was fixing to tell her.
"Remember when you asked me how we found each other, and I told you that I think I was waiting for you? At the time I believed that but now I know that's a lie. I found you. I was alone and sad, and I found you. That boy didn't know what he was doing, what he was capable of. I found you and I changed you. If it wasn't for me, you wouldn't be able to feel people's emotions. Even then I gave apart of myself to you and I altered you. Every day, I'm with you I'm altering you."
Catching his face in her hands she forced him closer, so that they were eye to eye. "Maybe that's true."
"It is. I____."
"I don't care. I'll thank God every day of my life that you found me. And I don't care that I'm different, that I'm changing because if I wasn't changing then I couldn't be this close to you. Every romance book ever written is about the two of us. Romeo and Juliet wish they could have what we have. And I'm not the only one changing, Jay. You are too. Tell me that you can't feel how much stronger you are now and it's because I'm here." She placed a hand over his chest, then his temple. "And here. You're scared of what's happening but I'm not."
"Not even a little?"
"Not even a little. As long as I have you. And thanks to you, even when I'm alone, I'm not really alone. I'm never without you."
He squeezed her tight. "Can you move yet?"
"Not even close. You?"
"No. How the hell are we supposed to explain to your mother why we are all laid out in front of the door? Figure it out fast, she just drove up."
"Maybe if we scoot back against the wall, she won't even ask us what we are doing?"
"Don't worry, I'll think of something."
Her mom paused. Frowned. "Do I even want to know?"
Before she could say no, Jay grinned.
"This morning your daughter blew my mind, so I thought I would blow her mind this evening and now she can't move."
Her eyes narrowed then she stepped over them and headed to the kitchen to get the wine.
