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She stared at him intently. Ready to prance as soon as the last of his command fell from his lips. Then something she hadn't been expecting happened.
He changed right before her eyes.
She knew his appearance as well as she knew her own. No way she would have ever missed a scar.
With a shaky hand, she reached out to touch the jagged scar on his chin that went up through his bottom lip. "Why did you hide this from me?"
White teeth caught at his scar as he judged her reaction.
"This wasn't here a few moments ago."
He ran his thumb over it. "It's always been here. I got it that day you...." As his voice trailed off, she gathered his thoughts.
He got it the last day she saw him all those years ago. When she found him in that park and brought him food because he was hungry.
"It had just happened, and I was probably a mess. I guess I didn't want you to see it. I didn't want to scare you." His eyes meant hers. "If I did it, it was unintentionally. I didn't even know I could do that then."
"Even then all you wanted to do is protect me, and you wonder how I can love you as much as I do."
At his hopeful look, she leaned out, so she could kiss his new scar. Gently kissed his bottom lip then his top lip. "Do you believe in us now, Jay?"
"I've always believed in you, Paisley. It was just me I couldn't believe...."
She silenced him with another kiss. There's no me or you anymore. There's just us.
She felt his need to have her closer. His need to touch her so she moved into his lap and took his face into her hands. "I love you."
Their lips met in a heated rush that she quickly got lost in.
"Baby.... I still...." He tried to speak even though it was clear that talking isn't what she wanted to do. ".... have things to tell you. I haven't told you everything."
"You will. You'll tell me everything and I'll still love you. I'll probably love you more because I'll know just how strong you are. How brave you are."
Groaning, he gave her better access to his neck. "We still don't have to rush into anything. We can go slower. I can wait for you."
She caught her lip between her teeth. "I can wait for you too. I know you're scared so there's no need to rush."
"I'm not scared, I'm the one who's done this before."
She raised an eyebrow.
"Okay so maybe I am and you're not, but...."
Paisley caught his face so he would look at her.
Sighing, he smiled a little. "I'm a wreck. This is your first time and I want it to be perfect."
"What's not perfect about this moment?"
He felt lighter and more at peace than she's ever felt him. There were no safeguards up to protect him or his secrets. His past wasn't here in the room with them waiting to intrude upon their happiness. He was as free as he's ever been, and he's never been more beautiful to her.
"You're the one who is beautiful. I'm just a guy. A regular ole, big-eared guy with too many scars and tattoos."
"Jay McCarthy you could never be just a guy and you're beautiful to me. And so strong. So much stronger than I am. You've had to endure so much, and you did it alone and came out on the other side stronger than ever. I couldn't have made it through the last few months without you."
"I was never alone. You were always with me. Even then we had a bond that could never be severed and each day that bond only grows."
"Is that what scares you? You're afraid that there won't be any you without me?"
"My whole life I've been afraid of there being a me without you. What I want more than anything is for there to be no me without you."
"Then tell me what you do fear."
The hands that covered hers trembled. "I'm scared of being happy. The only thing worse than never knowing happiness, is knowing it and losing it."
Tears filled her eyes as she fell for him all over again. "You're in luck then. I happen to know how to cure you of that fear."
"Yeah?"
"I will make you so deliriously happy you can't stand it, every second of every day and I will start right now."
"Yeah? Does this happiness involve the secret stash of condoms I hid under your mattress?"
"Only if you want it to."
"Regardless of how much of a bitch I've been acting here lately, I would very much like to make love to you, Paisley. There's a good chance, I'd sell my soul for just one night with you."
"How about a lifetime and you can keep your soul?"
"You better hang on to something, hon."
His sexy smirk caused a thrill to go through her and he growled, "Thank God you're not under a spell and you're just crazy as shit."
