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Following Jack into his and Lisa's writing room, he experienced a new kind of hell. Know what isn't fun? Going to have a conversation about sex with a parent when your nether regions have a mind of their own.
He was so turned on; he had a hard time sitting. "Let me help you out, I know all I need to know. More than I should know. I have a huge box of condoms and I know that when a girl says no, she means no."
"That's not the sex talk we need to have. The only reason I caught what is going on is because Dougie brought it to my attention."
Jay groaned and slouched in his seat.
"You're starting to set off fires. Yesterday big time. If Lisa could get pregnant, we'd have a dozen running around just off yesterday."
"I have no idea what you're talking about."
"That's a first."
"Here lately, not so true."
"I will be frank for both of our sakes. You're in heat. It's hard to be around you but when both of you are in heat, it's like a flash fire going through the neighborhood. Mind you, I'm not complaining. I'm having the best sex of my life. If you could sell that shit, I'd buy it by the truckload."
He sat up. "Are you saying that when I'm turned on everyone knows it?"
"That's putting it mildly and I doubt that others know the reason for their sudden peak of desire. Which, by the way, is also putting it mildly. It's more like an overwhelming need to mate like crazy. The only reason I know it's you is because Dougie was having her suspicions and after tonight with you sitting right in front of me, I knew she was right. As soon as you and Paisley started to do some serious flirting, I started being able to think about nothing but laying Lisa across that dining room table."
"What am I supposed to do with that information?"
"Hell, if I know. I say do nothing. Like I said, I'm not complaining. Most wouldn't but what about people like Dougie? I'm pretty sure she hasn't been with anyone since her late husband. She says she's having to take to drinking."
Fuck.
"You're lucky she's not attacking a neighbor or something. It's all I can do not to keep Lisa in bed twenty-four seven. Luckily, she's been as much affected by this as me. We've been doing it all over the place. Often. That's what we were doing when Paisley came over yesterday, that's what we were doing when David showed up today, and thanks to you I want to be doing it right now."
"You keep talking and I might never get turned on again."
"Sorry. I told you I was worked up." Jack leaned back in his desk chair. "Is it wrong that I'm curious if it was effecting everyone at the table the same? We already know that you don't have to be in the same house, but how far does your reach go?"
He was kind of curious himself, or he would be after he calmed his stomach and got some very disturbing pictures out of his mind. He didn't even want to think about how he would fix this from happening again. "I can talk to her about a good thirty minutes away, but she can't speak back unless we're in the same vicinity. I've been wanting to work on that."
"You can talk.... interesting."
"Up for a test of sorts?"
Jack smiled. "As the adult I feel like I should discourage you so let's have some ground rules. If clothes start coming off, you turn it off quick."
"Who knows if that will even work, and how in the hell am I supposed to do that? I have a hard time keeping my head around her."
"Okay." Jack thought for a moment then smiled again. "Keep your phone on. If it rings, you stop everything, and you start thinking about that time Angel was dating Delia. Remember her? She was always feeling of his muscles and licking her lips."
Jay grimaced. "That should do it. Paisley is on the way. Get out of here before you say something that turns me into a monk. You know I can't unhear things, right?"
"Make sure you give me time to sit down so I can watch for everyone's reactions."
