Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
She didn't know for sure if this is where he would be, but she hoped so. She'd already been driving for an hour and nobody else looking for him was having any luck.
Jay knew he was in one piece, but he couldn't get more of a read off of him. That meant he wasn't close, so she hoped she was headed in the right direction.
The first time they came here it had been by accident. He needed to get away from everything that reminded him of Mia, and he drove.
It was a little motel tucked in the middle of nowhere and next to one of the most beautiful lakes she'd ever seen.
Seth spent most the night standing out by that lake just watching it.
Finding his car in the otherwise empty parking lot, she laid her head against the steering wheel and took a deep breath. Perhaps this was a good sign. Something had to give. He couldn't stay on the path he was own. She could understand his grief, his pain, but she couldn't handle the self-destructing path he seemed all fired to take.
If she didn't get through to him soon, she would have to let Jay handle him.
After sending everyone a quick text, she climbed out of the truck and checked around the lake for signs of him. Not finding him, she went to the room they shared last time and knocked.
Knocked quite a bit, before he finally opened the door.
She almost didn't recognize him. His wavy hair was unkept, his face covered in dark stubble. His eyes were red, but it was the look in them that really startled her.
He was angry. Hurt. Lost. Barely hanging on and could find no lifeline in sight.
Her eyes filled with tears.
He would have turned her away otherwise. He held the door open.
Paisley made a fast glance around the room noting all the liquor bottles. Seeing the two-prescription bottles on the bed-side table she didn't even ask questions; she just grabbed them and went directly to the bathroom.
When she came out his eyes were narrowed. He wanted to say something mean, she could see it in his eyes, but he wouldn't let himself. He's never said anything mean to her, never raised his voice, and she knew if he did, he'd regret it.
"Let me help get you into bed. You can sleep it off and we'll talk about it in the morning when you're sober."
Still glaring at her, he grabbed one of his whiskey bottles and sat in one of the chairs.
Determined, she headed for his alcohol supply. "I will not get drunk with you like Jackson did."
"I wouldn't do that." He warned.
She paused. "This isn't who you are."
"You don't know who I am anymore."
"You're wrong. You're hurt, lost and angry. You have every right to be, but drinking isn't going to make it any better. You're drunk right now, and you're still hurt, lost and angry. You'll still be hurt, lost and angry in the morning."
When he continued to glare at her, she swept several bottles in her arms and headed for the bathroom. She didn't bother dumping any of these out, she just dropped them all into the tub. When she turned around, he was standing in the door with his arms blocking her in.
"I told you not to do that."
"Seth, let me help you. I will do whatever I have to do to help you get through this." She touched his arm. "There's people you can talk to. I know you feel like you're all alone but you're not. Hannah, Josh and Jackson are all out looking for you. Hannah and I both know what it's like to lose a parent, Jackson lost both his mom and dad. Remember how hard that was on him? Do you remember how he stayed with you the whole summer? You were there for him, let him be there for you. What happened is horrible. I still.... I still blame myself too, but we can't keep doing this to ourselves. We can't heal as long as we do."
"I don't want to heal. That's what none of you understand."
"Don't say that. Please, don't say that."
"I can't stand to think about it and it's the only thing I can think about. Her last moments, it's all I can think about."
"There's people who_____."
"And when I'm not thinking about that I'm thinking about you. I lost you. I lost her."
"You didn't lose me, Seth. I'm here. We were good friends then and we're good friends now."
"We weren't just friends. You were mine."
She put as much space between them as she could. She was at a lost to what to say, what to do. As soon as she got to her phone, she was texting Jay and asking for the help he had offered weeks ago. She hadn't wanted to rob Seth of his grief, but she didn't think they were left with any other choice now. They couldn't let him destroy himself.
"I care about you. Seeing you like this hurts a lot. You've had a hard life and you have always been strong. You're strong enough to make it through this too. You need some rest and tomorrow will look better. Every day will look a little better."
"I was strong because I had to be for her."
"Then be strong for me because I'm barely hanging on, Seth. I'm hurting too. We all are, and we can't lose you too."
The anger left him, and he seemed to cave in on himself. Paisley slipped an arm around him and tried to lead him towards the bed.
"There's so much I should have done differently. I should have been watching her better. I was so worried about you I never even thought about her being in danger. I should have gotten to you when you needed me to. You were screaming and there was nothing I could do. I should have done more."
"Seth, don't play that game. I could play it too." She helped him lay down then she helped get his shoes off. "Rest and tomorrow will be better, I promise."
"I shouldn't have kissed that girl; you'll never know how much I regret that. I was trying to prove to myself that you felt nothing for me, but I was a fool. The way you looked at me that night. I hurt you and I never wanted to hurt you."
"I'm____."
One of his huge arms wrapped around her and dragged her onto his chest. "Seth."
"If he didn't come here, you'd still be mine."
She tried to push off of him. "I don't think_____."
"I could have made you forgive me. I could have made you want me."
"Seth, let me go. You're not your_____."
He kissed her. His hold on her tightening when she tried to push him away. She pushed him harder then she put her hands in his hair and pulled until there was enough room between them for her to move away.
Angrily, she wiped his taste from her mouth. "That is not all right, Seth. How could you do that to me? You had no right."
Unable to look at her, he covered his eyes with his hands.
Crying, she did the same. She knew this wasn't who he was. She grabbed the rest of the bottles and dumped those into the tub then she found his keys and let herself out the door. She'd forgotten her damn phone inside, but it didn't matter. Jay would already be on his way.
