Growing Pains

15

When Jungkook started crying and apologising, Jin was overcome with guilt and shame.

He did this.

To the one he loves the most.

Seeing his dongsaeng crying his heart out like his world had ended was like getting hit hard in the gut.

Jin realised how selfish he was.

He was so consumed by his self-pity that he never stopped to think about how his actions would affect Jungkook.

How could he forget how precious Jungkook was to him?

The one that he had promised to always love and protect.

It was time to stop being selfish and go back to being the hyung that he was before.

"Shh, Jungkook-ah. Don't cry. You did nothing wrong."

He rubbed the youngster's back gently.

"It's hyung. It's hyung's fault. Hyung was jealous."

Jin took a deep breath as he tried to calm his mind so he could explain to Jungkook without revealing too much of how he felt for the young boy.

It wasn't right to burden him with unwanted and unwelcomed feelings.

There will be others after Jungkook, Jin was certain of that.

Others that he would come to care for, and could be with.

Though he may not love them as much as he loves Jungkook, it will be enough.

"Hyung was so used to having you all to himself that when hyung saw you with your girlfriend, hyung was jealous."

"Girlfriend?" Jungkook frowned as he looked up at Jin.

"The girl you were with at the cinema," Jin put on a brave smile, though deep down he could feel the fissure reopen in his heart.

"Hyung, she's—"

Jin placed a finger on Jungkook's lips to stop him from saying more.

He didn't want to hear anything about the girl.

He has already conceded Jungkook to her so there was no need for her to intrude into his time with Jungkook.

"Hyung forgot that you are a teenager now. You have friends of the same age that you want to hang around with. A girl that you want to take out on dates."

Jin brushed Jungkook's hair back so he could look into his sweet face.

He was going to miss not being able to see him every day after this.

"So hyung is going to back off and let you spread your wings. It's time hyung let go so you can be independent."

The fissure in Jin's heart grew wider and he knew he could no longer hold back his tears.

So Jin tucked Jungkook's head back onto his chest and told him to go to sleep.

As soon as he heard the younger's steady breathing, and his hold on his waist relaxed, Jin let his tears fall as he held Jungkook tightly in his arms.