Growing Pains

40

Jin came to a graceful halt at the bottom of the slope.

He grinned as Yoongi lowered the camcorder and gave him a thumbs up.

Jin and Yoongi were at the same ski resort that Jungkook had taken Jin to the year before.

Jin had asked Yoongi to take him here, and when Yoongi had pulled into the car park, Jin had felt a pang in his chest as he recalled doing the same with Jungkook last year.

"That was great, Jinnie! You're really talented!"

Jin smiled at his boyfriend, but there was a hint of sadness in his eyes that caught Yoongi's attention.

Yoongi immediately cupped Jin's face worriedly.

"Hey Jinnie, are you okay?"

"I'm okay. Don't worry."

"Do you want to take a break? Get hot chocolates back at the lodge?"

"Sure, that sounds great. Just let me do something quick and I'll meet you at that restaurant we saw earlier."

Yoongi frowned.

"Where are you going, Jinnie? Can I come with you?"

Jin looked away and swallowed the lump in his throat.

He was going to let go of his feelings for Jungkook, and he wanted to do it alone.

He plastered on a smile for Yoongi before turning back to look at him.

He could see Yoongi was not happy about letting him go somewhere without him but he knew his boyfriend will not stop him.

That's how much Yoongi cared about him, and it made Jin even more determined to shed his love for Jungkook so he could focus on Yoongi.

"I'd like to do this alone if you don't mind. I need to do this alone."

"Okay, Jinnie. Please be careful and come back safely to me. I will be waiting."

How did I get so lucky to meet this man, Jin wondered. I don't deserve him.

Jin removed the snowboard from his feet and turned to walk away.

"I'll take that, Jinnie. No need to burden yourself."

Jin felt his chest expand with warmth at Yoongi's thoughtful consideration.

It made him even more determined to be the person that Yoongi deserved.

Fifteen minutes later, Jin stood in front of a large tree on the other side of the ski runs.

Tears began to fill his eyes and some escaped to flow down his cold cheeks as he stared at a bald patch in the tree trunk.

JJK + KSJ were here – 4th December 20xx

Jungkook had carved the message into the tree last year to commemorate their first trip here.

His dongsaeng had been so proud of his handiwork, and had promised that he will bring Jin back every year so they could add to the message each time.

Alas, promises were made to be broken because his Jungkook was not here with him this year.

Instead, Jin was here with someone else.

Jin was here with his boyfriend, and it wasn't Jungkook like he'd always dreamed.

Jin took out a small pocket knife and began carving his own message under the one that Jungkook had made.

He was barely aware of the heavy tears that now ran unchecked from his eyes to fall unnoticed on the snow at his feet.

When Jin was done, he touched his fingers to his lips before putting them over Jungkook's initials on the tree.

"Goodbye, my love," he whispered.

He then took out a folded paper from his pocket and stuck it in a notch in the tree bark before leaving to make his way back to the lodge where he knew Yoongi was waiting patiently for him.

The item fluttered open to reveal a picture of Jin and Jungkook.

Jungkook was smiling at the camera, while Jin looked at the younger, his eyes glistening with love.

The edge of the picture touched Jin's message on the tree as though acknowledging the pain that Jin felt as he carved it.

The carving read...

KSJ ♡ JJK