broken heart-strings (seer x embalmer, +more ships apparently)

eleven

Emily came back with her and my food, so I just ate quietly between her and Joseph. I was about to take another bite, but a squeeze to my right thigh made me drop my spoon.

Most people kept talking, but the person in front of me and to my left looked over in surprise. Tracy gave a small smile, in front of me, before quickly joining back into the conversation. The person to me left, Emily, put her hand on my shoulder.

"You okay?" she asked gently. I glanced back at Joseph, who still had his hand wrapped around my thigh. He was eating quietly, but the look on his face was more of a 'day anything and I promise I'll fuck you up.'

"I'm fine."

-:-:-

Dinner kept going by, and Emily has taken all our plates to the kitchen. Most people had left, but a few stayed at the table to talk and play cards. Joseph let go of my leg after he had been holding it hard and long enough to bruise.

Everything burned.

Hot, bubbling emotion slammed through my body like wildfire as the man to my left's hand rubbed over the newly sore area on my upper thigh.

My back of my throat ached, but screaming wasn't ever an option. No one would save me from my own little hell. Maybe we're all stuck in our private traps, but mine happens to be broken into.

My eyes clenched shut, thoughts spiraling out of control. Nothing felt right. All I could think about was Joseph and him beating the shot out of me. My sore body. Eli back in my bed.

A bit of peace persuaded me to calm my heavy breathing at the though of Eli.

He kept me calm.

He could block away all the bad things-

"Calm down."

The voice was stern, yet quiet. It made my skin crawl, his fingers pressing harshly into the soft bit of skin on my thighs. I never once opened my eyes at the table.

-:-:-

When people began to leave to go to their rooms for privacy, I stood quickly and started making way towards my room.

I had to see Eli, he could cleanse my-

"Stop right there, sunshine."

I had only made it upstairs, when my body slammed against a wall quite violently, hands pinning me to the solid surface behind me. Of course i knew who it was, there was no doubt about that. 

"Do you know what you did to me?"

I bit my lip, emotions slamming through me like a truck.

Can't you see what you did to me?  I'm pretty sure I'm far worse than you.

But of course I would never be brave enough to say it. My sorry ass will always be pathetic, and that's all I can say about it. I'll never be able to stand up for myself because Joseph will always get what he wants-

"And what makes you think he hasn't had it worse?" 

The sound of that raspy voice made my eyes shoot wide open, as Joseph let go of me. He turned around, so I looked over his shoulder. There stood a sleepy looking Eli, no blindfold, his hoodie falling off his shoulders. I didn't notice how big it was on his frail body until now. I bit my lip lightly. 

He's just too pretty, it's really not fair. 

Eli yawned, covering his mouth slightly. His eyes lingered with the tiredness. It was like all he wanted was to go back to the warmth of my bed and fall back into a state of temporary peace, and all I wanted was to go with him. 

And maybe that's what was going to happen, because the boy grabbed my hand and started pulling me back towards my room, leaving Joseph behind in the hall. 

The expected thing to do was mumble a few words and collapse into my bed. 

But when do I ever do what is expected?

As soon as the door shut behind me, I fell to my knees, violent sobs rushing out of me. Fire spread across my skin, tears rolling down my face.

I just shook. 

s h a k i n g w i l l s a v e m e -

Ice threw out the fire, forcing my skin to go numb and cold. I couldn't feel anything. They say pain is the worst feeling, but nothing could be worse than the emptiness.

The loneliness. 

The horrible feelings of pain ripping through my head-

"Stop fucking crying. You're fine, just shut up."

I froze.