37: Deserve

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Tatt

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Tatt

I slammed the unknown number shot down my throat no longer feeling the burn, no longer feeling anything. It began as me drinking so I could focus on that burn rather than the break in my chest. I tried to do Hamlet's adrenalin but couldn't. That shit is extra stupid and I need to tattoo for the rest of my life, can't do it if I break my body.

Nothing gets Raven out of my head. She's in my dream calling to me with her laugh and raising her brow at me then it always ends with her face falling when I broke it off. I miss Sienna too, I can't help but wonder what trouble that little darlin' has gotten herself into since I have been away.

Someone sat beside me taking the bottle away from me, "Jesus brother." Briac muttered, "you are not doing well."

"I don't need you being Dr. Phil Briac go move onto some other brother or go fuck someone." I muttered tossing the shot glass down a hall hearing it shatter upon impact. No one needs to come up beside me and tell me I fucked up.

Briac nodded as I glared over to him daring him to say something, "You sure?"

"Yep now fuck off." I growled.

He took out his pipe, stuffing it with tobacco and light it up. "Okay but you asked for it. Smoke you're up."

Before I could tell everyone to fuck off to leave me alone someone grabbed the back of my cut throwing me off the bar stool. As I stumbled around they grabbed my arm and shoved me into the church room where I slammed into a chair as they shut the doors before look at me. Smoke's face was dark as he stared at me, his eyes almost black, face not holding any emotion.

"Not in the mood Smoke go find someone to kill, don't bother me with whatever this talk is supposed to be about." I grumbled walking towards the door to get out of here but didn't make it far before Smoke grabbed my arm shoving me back into the table hard. I felt my body gasped for air from the corner going into my stomach.

Smoke shook his head crossing his arms, "you're not going anywhere until you get over this pity party of yours from not seeing that you had a stalker. Once you do, you will shower and go talk to Raven where you will grovel for her to take your sorry ass back."

I couldn't help my drunken scoff as I looked at him getting up from the table, "You are telling me to go talk and claim a woman? You? How many years have you been in love with Princess for? I feel like you have always been in love with her but never have you done anything, am I right? And you want to talk to me about claiming Raven when you ran away to go nomad like a-" My face whipped to the side as my body hit the wall from Smokes punch, I didn't try to fight him on it. I should never have gone there.

Taking a deep breath from the throbbing on my cheek I looked at Smoke whose eyes were on fire as blood dripped from my mouth, "You and all the brothers don't know shit about why I went nomad or about Clarissa and I. You are being a fucking coward running away from a woman who loves you and who you love just as much, and here you are running away when you have the fucking chance to be with her."

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