Kala bears, wicked mutations of Australia's koala bears (marsupials), are on the rise.
Humans were destroying the koala's whole world, their trees. They were powerless to resist until, under pressure, a mutation occurred. Their eyes went from brown...
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Silverfox:
The time had come to face the kala bears in a full frontal battle.
Our army was magnificent. The humans came in all sorts of costume, feathers and warrior tat, banners flapping in the breeze. Captain Chimie and his mercenary crew well scary in their ripped combat fatigues and war paint. Our bears lined up in ranks, wearing fearsome expressions and pulling in their tummies.
A rhythmic recitation of the Lion-Faced Dakini's protection mantra rose and fell, like breath, through the troops.
Ah Kha Sama Ranza Shanda Rasa Maraya Phat (Counters demonic and malignant forces.)
Captain Chimie lifted Commander Winnie onto his shoulders. Winnie surveyed the scene, then addressed the troops. For clarity, I shall report the Commander's words in proper English.
"My soldiers, my dears, I am Winnie and I am very happy to see you all here today. I swell fat with pride."
Winnie looked across the field at the kala bear horde. Adapting a line from his favourite Mahayana treatise on karma, 'The Wheel of Sharp Weapons', he shouted: "TRAMPLE THEM, TRAMPLE THEM, DANCE ON THEIR HEADS.
Ignoring their jeering response, he turned back to us.
"Today we make a history, one the kalas will pass down for generations to come. You should know our cause is righteous. We are the instruments of karma, payback for the kala's own wickedness.
"We fight with honour but make no mistake, honour is meaningless to them. They will be vicious. Cruel. Merciless. They will attack with many on one. They will try to separate you, bring you down and go for your throat. It is the kala way.
"To counter this I want you, Captain Chimie, to hold the centre field. As our tallest you'll see the gangs form, you can direct your crew to break them up. Everyone else should try to stay within the Captain's reach, at least until we have thinned the kalas out a bit.
"Beyond that piece of advice, what can I say? You're all fighters, you know what to do. Look to each other. Protect each other."
The ranks were silent, focused.
"One more thing," Winnie eyeballed me. "Remember, we are not here to kill kala bears. Keep your rage in check". Yep, for sure, he means me.
"It's up to you now comrades. Fill your hearts with love and beat the crap out of them. Make this a day they'll never forget."
Cousin Winnie B, (who crystalled in from America), Thigh-bone Debbi, Dog Girl, Captain Chimie, Commander Winnie and myself stepped forward for the battle haka.
Winnie B, bling flashing in the sun, let rip with a line of Chicago trash talk fit to burn your ears. Dog Girl screamed MOTHERFUCKEERRRS and did a full battle krump. Thighbone Debbi threw off all her clothes and blasted a note on her thigh bone trumpet. Captain Chimie bellowed threats. Winnie stood with paws on hips, smoke rising from the cross-stitch remains of his eyes. I prowled back and forth out front, snarling.
The kalas started out around 1000 strong but our challenge so terrified them, half bolted for the trees. Pussies.
Winnie raised a paw, held it, brought it down like he'd thrown a spear. Unleashed we thundered down, like hail, on the kala horde.
The Commander began by emanating multiple copies of himself, making sure every kala copped a punch in the face from a Winnie. I did more than punch the little fucks. Some kalas tried to form gangs but Captain Chimie's crew were straight on them. Chimie himself was grabbing them two at a time, banging their heads together. Dog Girl was a whirling ninja dervish, kala bears flying through the air over her head. Winnie B used his gutter ninja, building a pile of broken kalas around him. Thighbone Debbi stomped around stark naked, full berserker, smacking thick kala heads with her thighbone trumpet.
The battle ebbed and flowed all day. The sides clashed, broke off to breathe, then clashed again. By day's end the field was littered with crawling and unconscious kala bears. There were also seven dead, bearing the evidence of my teeth.
All our bears survived, though many are badly ripped. We lost three humans, their throats out. We buried the fallen, prayed for human and kala alike.
Om Mani Padme Hum (Chenrezig's mantra of compassion.)
With seven dead kalas clearly down to me, I'm keeping well out of the Winnie's way. He could not have been clearer - "No bears are to be killed." He warned me. I will pay.
Josepina: It was a Saturday to remember! I'll never be the same!
Marie Curie: guess I was babysitting?
Neil: My dear Marie, thing is, you haven't actually registered with Winnie's Army. He knows you from our Chenrezig days, but he doesn't like to push recruitment. He told me he hoped he'd hear from you before the battle, hoped you'd be there for the younger bears. Can I tell him you want in? It would make him very happy.
Josepina: Marie was there, she was the bravest of the brave. I saw her rescuing injured soldiers with her noble brave and strong donkey. She fearlessly made her way through the battlefields, putting herself directly in harm's way to reach they soldiers crying out in pain. Whenever they saw her they felt a calm come over them, as though they were being held in their mother's arms again, the touch of the donkeys soft hair brang so much hope as they were lead steadily back to safety. Some soldiers survived because of her, others didn't make it, but their deaths were better because of marie curie, her limitless compassion and her trusty donkey. Meh (plagiarised from a story I heard, from a book whats called The Silver Donkey)
Neil: Since you've gone and outed it Josepina, I knew Marie was there. She's not officially signed up though, that's why I couldn't say anything. Winnie doesn't encourage blow-ins. He had to pretend not to notice.
Marie Curie: Nice save, Neil! ;-))) I tried to keep a low profile, and tell you the truth...I'm used to being the one who deals with the messy hard stuff... Probably because I'm good at it. Glad to have been of service...twas a big one... Winnie gave me a wink on the field, so I know he's cool... We all have rules we have to make and break... Keep me informed and commence download... x
Sirius: Outstanding. Welcome aboard sister. Your Sirius powerpack will download into your brain shortly. Your comrade ID is now aka 'MC Tara'.
