Kala bears, wicked mutations of Australia's koala bears (marsupials), are on the rise.
Humans were destroying the koala's whole world, their trees. They were powerless to resist until, under pressure, a mutation occurred. Their eyes went from brown...
We gathered at the edge of the forest and surveyed the killing field. Grey black clouds rolled over us. Thunder rumbled. I sat on Bumble Bears shoulders, the horrors we faced having turned my legs to jelly.
The legendary garden Green Dog spoke of; the crystal streams, the perfume flowers and singing trees; all gone. Gangs of killers roamed the desolate ground, feeding on the decomposing dead.
The Commander, red corduroy paws on red corduroy hips, smoke rising from his cross stitch eye remnants, surveyed the field.
On the far side of the field, by the crystal cave entrance, was another red lump; corduroy paws on corduroy hips; staring back from his own absent eyes.
Commander Winnie clambered on to Gold Eyes back. They stood at the head of the army, Silverfox and Green Dog flanked them and the rest of us formed a wedge behind.
Gold Eye howled "SIRIUS" and we were off.
Winnie and Gold Eye forged ahead.
Next came Silverfox and Green Dog.
Then Dog Girl and MC Tara, both riding the mighty Black Dog, Dog Girl screaming "MOTHER FUCKEEEERRRRS".
Thighbone Debbi charging forward stark naked, mind in full berserker, thigh bone clubs smashing teeth and skulls.
Boulder Fist and Captain Chimie felling Grizzlies with their bare fists.
Me clinging on to Bumble Bear's back with my face buried in his neck, screaming.
Bumble Bear spun and slashed a grizzly across the eyes, dislodging me in the process. I tried to get up, slipped in the blood mud and fell into the rotting guts of some dismembered beast. Bumble Bear curled in a ball, arms over his head, desperately covering while two snarling wolves bit and clawed at him.
I looked up and there's a wolf in the air, flying for my throat, only to be smashed in the side of the head by Captain Chimie. Leaping into the fray came Green Dog and Silverfox. In an instant the two wolves attacking Bumble Bear had their throats out. Chimie, Green Dog and Silverfox held the ground, fending off a mob of snarling snapping wolves while Bumble Bear scrambled to his feet and I clambered back up on his back.
There was a momentary pause.
Linda: This has me riveted, I just love the drama you have created.
Then, like a freight train, the mighty Black Dog crashed through to us. Black Dog with his blood up was awesome to behold. Biting off faces, ripping off limbs, Dog Girl on his back screaming "KILL THE FUCKEERS".
But we had fallen behind the main pack now. Even with the Black Dog we could not break out. For every killer we felled, ten more appeared.
We were done.
Seeing this, the enemy circled, closing in. We pulled into a tight defensive group, screamed abuse, and prepared to die. Then, the strangest thing.
High above our heads, from somewhere deep in the rumbling clouds, there came a doof doof beat. It penetrated the moment of our imminent death. Doof doof Doof doof DOOF Doof DOOF Doof.
What the hell? Louder, louder and louder, it drowned the roar of combat. Killers and company alike froze. All eyes lifted to the sky, to the clouds that hid the source of the beat. Then with a thunderous rumble there emerged from out the clouds, a tin shed.
Wha?!!
The door of the shed flew open and leaning out in space, grinning ear to ear, was comrade DjD. For this was the Tin Shed Tardus, bush studio of old mate Daniel, aka DjD, aka Timelord Rd.
Hooray.
We know that Evil Winnie likes to dance. (Intel from comrade Gareth). "German industrial thrash and Swedish black metal" if I remember correctly. Turns out though, insane tripping bears and wolves do not. They howled as the doof doof beat beat down on them. They smacked at their own ears, fell to the ground defecating, curled up like babies.
In an instant it was done. The field was ours.
Neil: Hee hee, slipped out of that one. I'm keen to get face to face with Evil.
Gareth: Evil Winnie loves to bite faces off. Oh could u tell him he left his keys behind and they'll be in the letter box.
Neil: Living close to the edge there Gareth. Little bugger will turn on you.
Gareth: I have my special way to keep him in check round the house, (I won't say what it is, it's a private thing and it would embarrass him if I told) Just make to tell him, before he bites your head off, to wipe his feet and get all the blood and brains off his fur before he comes into the house. I hate it when I find bits of cute little bunny on the kitchen floor.
Neil: Haha. 😊
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