KALA BEAR WARS : Episode 55

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The Earthling Neil:

(Private message to the personal guard.)

Comrades, I have great news, but it's a secret.

Winnie just told me he has a treat for us. He's going to load up the saucer and take us all to Sirius, for a holiday. Woohoo.

But you have to promise to keep it a secret for now. I didn't tell you, right? I'm not supposed to tell.

Winnie said he's going to rebuild the saucer and we OW...FARK.

Winnie just snuck up behind me and smacked me in the ear.

Little shits always doing that...OW.

What's your problem Win...OW.

Milinda of the Archive:

When last reported, Silverfox and Butch were in Mexico with cousin Winnie B. They were laying low under the care of Yaqui Coyote, the peyote munching mystic.

We are happy to report that they are now back in the USA, all charges dropped. How did they manage that? It went like this.

Students of the Archive will remember this mess started when Silverfox bit Elizabeth Hasselbeck on 'The View', for insulting Green Dog.

He escaped under a hail of bullets with Butch the Renegade Alsatian. They ended up running all the way to Mexico, with a few adventures on the way.

Meanwhile, back in the states, Green Dog was working on a solution. She called on her Hollywood friends, actors, musicians, journalists. Green Dog is much loved in Hollywood and she pulled some powerful strings.

She presented 'The View' with an ultimatum—either they withdrew all charges against Silverfox or Green Dog would expose to the gossip mags what had really happened on the set that day.

As you may recall, Elizabeth Hasselbeck made a smart-arse crack, off camera, that she knew would be heard by the studio audience - "You'd know all about doggy style wouldn't you Green Dog." 

So Silverfox bit her, which started all the trouble. He did the right thing.

To get him back, Green Dog gathered the support of her industry friends and delivered an ultimatum to The View - Drop their complaint or lose access to pretty much everyone who's anyone in Hollywood. Not just celebrities either. She enlisted the real creatives, the folk who make Hollywood what it is. From writers to camera folk, set design to makeup, fluffers to studs, Green Dog has a lot of friends.

Facing what amounted to blacklisting, The View buckled and withdrew their complaint.

The other issue was the break and enter, assault and theft (like guard dogs are just things), charges resulting from Butch and Silverfox's liberation of Butch's guard dog friends.

Butch and his friends had been kept in cages and mistreated by the rent-a-cops. They were beaten, shocked with prods, made to fight, all in the name of keeping them vicious.

Again Green Dog used the threat of public exposure, this time against the rent-a-cops themselves. She threatened to have them charged with animal cruelty. 

Green Dog was dead serious. The rent-a-cops understood the cost, not just in fines but the bad publicity and loss of celebrity clientele that would mean.

They backed right down.

So now, with great pleasure, the Archive can inform that Silverfox is once again free to wander as instinct and his bodhisattva heart dictate.

Hooray.
_______________________

Side note.
One of Green Dog's celebrity friends is the recording artist Ry Cooder.
Mr Cooder wrote a song for her.
It's our great pleasure to include that song here.
Milinda of the Archive.

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