𝓜𝓲𝓼𝓽𝔂 𝓢𝓸𝓾𝓵𝓼

26 | my secret door

Quite a long chapter, and I'm not really happy with it but I hope u'll like it anyway. The next one will be way better I promise!
A big thank you to everyone reading, voting and commenting on this story, that really means a lot! ♡

This time I didn't have any nightmare, but the awful headache pounding in my brain the second when I woke up made me understand why.
Did I really do this?

As I was slowly turning in my bed, suffering with every movement, her voice echoed through the room, making me freeze instantly.

"You're awake." She had so much anger in her tone that I honestly didn't get the courage to face her.

And when I heard her steps coming closer,
my eyelids firmly closed as I was expecting her to shout at me, or slap me or anything bad that went through my mind at that moment.
But she just left a glass of water and some pills on my night table.

"Take that. Drink all of it and sleep more. Don't you dare leave the room while I'm gone." She ordered before leaving, slamming the door behind her with a loud noise that made my brain look like it was at the verge of exploding.

A few hours later, when I came back to consciousness again, the headache was still very present, but I could move without having this bell in my brain shaking uncontrollably.
Isabelle was having a phone call and I immediately understood who she was talking to.

"I'll stay with her all day. Yes I'll tell her. No problem. Goodbye."
Angrily throwing her phone on her bed, she remained still in front of the window, looking like she was in deep thoughts even though I couldn't see her face.

"...Is he as mad as you are?" I whispered, sitting in my bed.
She quickly turned to me, looking like an eagle ready to catch his prey.

"Oh he's surely even more Amanda."
Fuck.
"What the hell did you think?!"
My face broke into a frown caused by her loud shout as I hid my face behind my palms.

"No look at me." And with that she strongly took my hands away, showing me that she was now sitting in front of me. But even this gesture wasn't like my mother's. I could tell that she was really mad at me, but still her touch remained caring and soft like she was afraid to break me.
"Why did you do that?" She said in slow motion like I was a stupid child.

I was drunk.
I became exactly what I didn't want to.
I had never fucked up that bad.

Those thoughts immediately reduced me to loud sobs I couldn't hold back. That was just too much.

Expecting her to shout at me for crying, I was surprised when she wrapped her arms tightly around my shoulders. And it took me some time to clench my arms back.
I wanted to talk, to ask why she did that, but all I could do was cry and wonder what came to my mind to do such stupid thing.
So for the maybe twenty next minutes she let me cry on her shoulder, leaving her anger for later.

"Why did you do that Amanda?" I heard her whisper again next to my ear.

With a broken and raspy voice I did my best to answer. "I don't know."
Actually I did know.
"I wanted to forget everything...I'm so dumb." I completed, hugging her tighter, afraid she'd go away. But fortunately she didn't and just shook her head.

"Just... don't ever do that again."
Oh believe me, I won't.

"I-Isabelle?"

"Yes?"

At this point I wasn't even sure she could understand what I was saying as I was a real mess, and even if she did she wouldn't know who I was talking about but I so badly needed to ask it out loud. "Am-am I becoming... as bad as her?"