Under (JenLisa AU)

Jennie Kim

J E N N I E

"Jennie, I have noticed that this fast few weeks you're not focusing to our lessons. Was this because of the daughter of Mr. Manoban." Mr. Kang asked worriedly.

I looked away, "No sir. In fact I don't really care about her."

Yeah Jennie keep convincing yourself.

"Jennie, if you won't to let it out it will just cause a lot of pain to you especially to that heart of yours." He held my hand and smiled to me with kindness. "Not that I'm minding your business or something but Jennie it's now affecting things around you."

"I'm sorry sir." I lowered my head and sighed. "It's just nothing. Maybe I'm just tired."

"Okay but Jennie next time just talk to me or to someone. Don't bear the pain by yourself. I know you are hurting." He let my hands go and shook his head.

I knew he didn't buy what just I said but he knew too that he couldn't convince me to say of what's happening to me right now either.

"Okay Ms. Kim. You may go now to your next classes." He said and dismissed me.

"Thank you sir." I said before I exited the faculty room.

I went to cafeteria to eat lunch. I was now eating my food with Chaeyoung and Jisoo.

The two were so sweet that it made me feel angry. I don't know why but I just felt it suddenly, so I slammed my hands on the table.

I stood up and glared at the two. Chaeng questioningly looked at me.

"I'm sorry I'm just not in the mood today I-I"

"Perhaps you're missing her unnie?" Chaeng cut me off.

"What no!" I defensively asked. "It was just all a show when I was with Lisa."

"Stop fooling yourself unnie."  She said.

"I told you! I'm not fooling myself so you better shut up and stop talking nonsense!" I totally lost my temper and shouted at her.

I saw she was taken aback but recovered immediately. "Okay! I was just concerned about you but I won't say something anymore! If it will makes you happy!" I was shocked when Chaeyoung stood up and shouted back at me.

She looked me in my eyes directly like she's looking through my soul.  "But the real question is, are you really happy? Look at you! You're being so selfish right now! You're just thinking about yourself all the time and you couldn't even consider others feeling!" She shook her head as if she can't believe of what's happening to me right now.

"You know what Unnie? I think you need time to think and to unwind." Chaeyoung said and grabbed Jisoo with her.

But before they left completely I heard Jisoo said, "What you needed the most is Lisa. You didn't even let my dumbass friend explain to you."

Fast forward.

"Hey are okay?" Kai said sitting beside me at the couch.

"Yes." I said absentmindedly.

"You look tired? Am I not taking care of you well?" He said worriedly.

"You are. Maybe I just need some rest, Kai." I said.

To tell you all, honestly I know in my heart that Pranpri is not here with me.

My anger lead me to this situation and I don't want to hear out everything they were trying to say.

Am I stupid to let this happen? Letting Kai be Pranpri while I already knew that Pranpri is somewhere in this world but not in my side.

Wherever he is. I hope he is safe. I'm hoping that he would still be back for me and for Lisa, I miss her.

I have so many wrong things that I need to fix, so many things.

What would I do to Kai, I really need to talk to him seriously. I can sense that this one's catching feelings for me.

Honestly, I don't want to use him anymore. I am selfish that time. I'll admit that I wanted to hurt Lisa after knowing she's like one of those people who killed my mom.

I can't. My mom was my everything. I missed her so much. I've been in trauma and suffered in amnesia because of that.

I can't even remember some memories and knowing myself that that memories of mine is really important. It's a piece of me.

I hope Lisa is doing fine, I'm sorry Lisa. I am very sorry. Wherever you are, I really misses you.

I combed my hair with my hands harshly. Hell what is wrong with me, right? I miss Lisa and I want Pranpri back. And here's Kai.
I am such a bad person who clearly doesn't have a clear feelings.

I sighed, I wanted to be alone so I talked to Kai to go home saying that I am fine and he can go.

I went to my bed room and laid my body. I started thinking about everything. I'm making a very big mess that I don't really wanted to do.

What am I doing to my life, I'm ruining everything.

Everything.

I need to fix this.

Immediately.

And I drifted off to sleep.

__________

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[EDITED VERSION]