Better Things ✓

Chapter 47: heart to heart

As I stare up at the familiar face. Taking everything in.

He looked a lot different than he had when i first stepped foot into this house. My first home.

I could remember him showing me my room for the first time. He gave me my first home. Because of him, I finally felt like I belonged somewhere. I found my people. The love this family wrapped me in coated my heart like a blanket, and melted away all of the bitter cold memories of my past.

I didn't need to spend a lifetime with Scott to know he was an amazing dad to me. The time, however insignificant in the grand scheme of things, was enough to make me love him like another parent. One I needed so desperately.

I felt hurt now, when I stared up at him. Hurt that he wasn't by my side when I lost my child. That he was defending his kids when they were the ones to hurt me. They killed my baby.

I knew it was selfish to think of it that way. Grayson and Colton, no matter how despicable in my eyes, were still his children. They were his family threw and threw. I was just the almost-adopted daughter. It was selfish to wish that the man I had come to love like a dad would be exactly that when I was at my worst. When I needed a dad.

But, for once in my life, I wanted to be completely selfish.

I wanted to be surrounded by love and support in tough times. And maybe that makes me a bad person, but life sucks if you're doing it all on your own. The worlds a heavy weight to carry on one shoulder.

My eyes stung with the need to cry. The need to let out everything I felt towards this man right in front of me. I wanted to scream and yell and make him understand how much it hurt to be left alone.

I had Xavier and Josh by my side. I had Mikey, too. But, I felt a bolder turning my gut by the lack of my family. It weighed down heavy on my soul, dragging me back to a place I couldn't allow myself to slip to.

I squeezed my eyelids tightly together, trying desperately to will the tears away.

As I was staring at the tiny specks of color floating behind my eyelids, a hand was placed on my cheek.

The pad of his thumb ran soothingly under my eyelid. At first, I wondered what he was doing, then realized that I was crying.

Stupid eyes.

I sniffled and opened my eyes, meeting Scott's with a desperate expression on my face. My eyes were wide and red. I didn't know what I looked like, but judging based off of Scott's reaction, it must've been awful.

He gripped my shoulder in his strong had that had just finished wiping my tears away. My body was pulled into his embrace effortlessly.

I struggled desperately in his arms, not able to give in against the feelings of betrayal and hurt. I shoved at his chest to get free, but he just held me tighter, not giving in to my futile efforts.

Eventually, I wore my tiny body out with the fight, and leaned against him, giving in to the comfort he was offering.

Suddenly, it all became too much. Like I was thrust under a wave in an already stormy ocean.

The first tears came slowly. But, then it was like a domino effect. Waves of tears crashed against his chest, being soaked up by his shirt.

I burrowed my face in his chest and held his torso in my tight grip, using him as a lifeline. An anchor in the storm.

Sobs racked my body like thunder thrusting through the ground. I shook with each cry, tightening my grip even further–if that was at all possible.

"Shhh, it's okay. You're okay. I'm here, honey. Shh. I love you," he cooed assuringly into my head.

His hand rubbed my back in a comforting and soothing manner. It calmed my cries until they were small sniffles. But I didn't move from his hold.

"We should go inside, baby," he hesitantly suggested. He kept a strong hand on my back, like he was scared I would disappear as soon as he let me go.

I wasn't going anywhere any time soon.

I gave him a grateful smile as he held the front door open for me.
I walked around, taking in the familiar smell of musky cologne and a minuscule hint of mint. It was an odd combination, but it worked for the place.

I sat on couch, looking around to see the house exactly how it was.

I could picture it all like a slow-motion video. The entire fall felt like an eternity. My belly pulsed achingly as I relived every thud of the stairs against my body.

I held my belly protectively, wanting more than anything to go back and change things.

"-Laney? Delaney, are you okay?" A muffled voice broke me from the flashbacks.

I looked up and locked eyes with Scott's worried ones. He was kneeling directly in front of my body.

Unknowingly, I had curled up into a ball to protect myself.

I slowly uncurled my body, trying to gather myself together. I needed to get my breathing under control before I had another panic attack.

I cleared my throat, needing to get answers and tell him how I felt, before I lost every last bit of confidence that I used to call him in the first place.

"Why?" My voice was strong and assertive.

Unexpectedly, Scott didn't look even the slightest bit confused by my vague question. He searched my face cautiously for a minute before looking into my eyes and beginning.

"You're my daughter, no matter what. I love you so much, you couldn't even begin to understand. It was like an instant connection, that day we brought you into our house. I was a little hesitant to foster, but Maya wanted to. And thank goodness for that. Because you are the biggest blessing to every happen to this family," he paused to take a deep breath. He didn't even bother to wipe the tears streaming down his cheeks. Then, he continued,

"I didn't want to believe that someone I raised for their entire life could be so empty. That my little boys could kill anyone's innocent baby and try to assault them, let alone my daughter. I mean, if they are so cruel to be able to do such a thing, what does that say about the way I raised them? I failed you by allowing them to hurt you. Accepting that they hurt you meant accepting that everything was my fault," his shoulders shook with strong cries.

I pulled his head into my lap and stroked his hair, trying to calm him down.

"It wasn't your fault. What they did was on them. I would never blame that on anyone—especially you or the boys. I was hurt that you weren't there when I needed you. I wanted my dad–I wanted you to hold me and make everything better. But you weren't there. And that hurt worse then anything. I lost my baby and my entire family," I spoke softly as he listened silently.

He picked his head up and turned to look in my eyes with such remorse it almost knocked me back.

He sat next to me and pulled me into his lap, hugging me to him once again.

"I'm so sorry, baby. I promise to do better. To be better," he promised me, rocking softly.

"Please don't leave me again, Dad,"

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