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AFTER THE BURIALS of three magnificent people, Ella found herself back at Alexandria even though that was where Negan would be almost all the time compared to the Hilltop. She wanted to help Rick make sure everything would stay in order in Alexandria while he was out on supply runs with Michonne. They were usually gone all day long. Never being able to really find anything to bring back for Negan had been exhausting, it started to become clearer and clearer that Negan would take the little they had like he promised that day he broke them down. Ella wished she could help with the supply runs, but it was better if she stayed behind, so she didn't lose the baby. . . the only piece of Glenn she had left.
Ever since that night, she had nightmares every single night. The nightmare was always the same; watching Glenn be killed in horrific ways, sometimes new things were added, and everyone died except her, and Negan always told her "No exceptions". Often, she'd find herself having thoughts about what happened and maybe what they could've done to not let that happen, but she usually suppressed those thoughts down as best she could. Sometimes, she heard people struggling at night whether they were going through the same thing, or they couldn't sleep.
The fear that Negan would kill someone or take someone was always on her mind. It could happen to anyone, no one was safe when he was here. If it happened to her then at least she would be reunited with the people she loved who had gone on to the next world. But if it happened to another loved one, she might die anyway. She wouldn't be able to handle it, unless their dying wish was for her to man up and to keep on surviving somehow. If they had one.
Ella sat up, pressing her fingers into her eyes. It was the middle of the night and she had yet to fall asleep. She got herself out of bed, her feet hitting the cold wood boards. She leaned over and patted the top of Keegan's, the dog she rescued, head. "At least you're sleeping." she smiled. Stretching, a sharp, stabbing pain in both sides of her stomach. A pained groan emitted from her lips. She didn't think anything of it, she might've just been hungry. Or maybe she had a kidney stone? Besides, the cramps had been happening for a few days, so she wasn't too worried her pregnancy was ending. It was probably normal. It was just an awful pain when the cramps did happen.
Shaking her head, she decided to go to the bathroom, but as she walked, the pain just became awful. She almost couldn't bear it. She pushed open the door, stumbling into the bathroom, not having time to close the door all the way before she sat down on the toilet. She pulled her nightgown up to her chest, there was a dark liquid on her legs. Her fingers daintily touched the liquid. She slowly got up and held her hand up to the window to have some light. It was red. It was blood.
Something splashed against her ankles. She knew it was just more blood. She tried to get back to the toilet, but before she could, she felt something push itself out of her vagina. She looked down at the ground to see a fucking clot just sitting there. She covered her mouth so no one could hear her crying for she did not want anyone to even know she was in the middle of miscarrying. She wasn't going to be able to be a mother just like Glenn won't be able to be a father. Her heart shattered thinking of that small fact.
