FEAR ⇾ THE WALKING DEAD

xcv. | ocean baby

TO FIND MORE people willing to join the fight in the war to be waged on the Saviors, Tara had to break her promise. A promise to Oceanside. It was the only way they were going to win the pending war. The only way to stop all of the killing they endured for so long. They needed guns, Oceanside had those guns. Ella felt bitter for what they had to do. If anything, they were just as bad as the Saviors if they had to take the direction they didn't want to take. The direction being: taking over the place with just a few of their own people. Tara did promise to not tell anyone about Oceanside to keep them safe from harm, but what did promises mean anymore? Promises nowadays were always meant to be broken.

Hearing Tara tell them of Oceanside, hearing the plan, Ella offered her support. At first, people protested, asking, "what about the baby?" and what not. But when she broke the news, she watched as their hearts shattered. Rick gave her the longest hug ever. He told her, in a whisper, that he'd do anything to make it right. She just had to name it. The one reaction she won't forget was Carl's. She forgot he grew. He grew from being that murderous child. If he still was that murderous child, could she really blame him? He was a baby when the world ended. He still was a baby. He was trying to survive.

"The baby is gone. I miscarried." Ella broke the news.

A few gasps made Ella's skin crawl. She didn't like hearing gasps anymore, it reminded her of that night when everything fell apart and slipped through their fingers when Negan paid them a visit. Rick seemed to be frozen, so did Daryl. But watching as Carl almost fell to his knees, her own heart broke. She grabbed him, steadying him on his feet. "Carl-"

Carl broke down sobbing. "The baby was the one good thing you had left after Negan took Glenn. . . and-and," he sniffled, snot hanging from his nose. Ella held him in her arms. "We have to make him hurt." Carl's face darkened.

"We will," she grabbed his shoulders. "We will." she repeated.

Gerard and Jesus were wiring the dynamite by themselves when Daryl left them to go check up on Ella who stood a good distance away from everyone else. He stood behind her, his hands trembling. He stood for a good five minutes, trying to not break down as he tried to find his voice. Everytime he looked at her, he had to fight back the tears, but after hearing what happened to the baby, he couldn't contain it anymore. Glenn's death, the death he made happen, caused her miscarriage and it was all his fault. He thought she was angry at him for what happened up until that hug she gave him when he escaped Negan. "Ella," his voice croaked. She spun on her heel, seeing the tears in his eyes. "I'm sorry."

For a good minute, Ella held eye contact. She was dumbfounded. What did he have to apologize for? She was about to ask him what he apologizing for, then, it hit her. She knew what it was about. They never were able to stand aside and talk about it. Negan made it seem Brandon and Glenn's death was his fault, so Daryl thought it was his fault. "It's not your fault."