Poison

Chapter 38

Rita(RiRi)POV:

I opened my door and stood by the door. He was holding a plastic of snacks and a box of pizza. He looked down at me with his lip between his teeth.

"I bought you your pizza and snacks" He said. I put on a straight face. "So what, You trynna get me fat?"

"No, I just thought since I'm trynna talk to you, than maybe your favorite pizza would kinda soften you up. Listen RiRi, I'm sorry-"

I sigh and opened my door wider. He walked in amd I closed and locked the door. I follow him in the living room and we both sit down. We stare at one another for like ten minutes and than he decides to speak.

"Maybe you should eat first?"

"Why? Am I going to faint or something? I need to be strong enough for what you are going to tell me?"

He sighs, clearly frustrated. "You not going to faint, but just eat"
I nod and take a slice of pizza. I take a bite and another and I end up eating half the box. "Ok, I'm full. Can you explain?"

"I need you to listen to me and don't interrupt me"

"Sure. I'll listen to your full story"

I sit up and look at him. He licks his lips and bites his bottom lip.

"Ight. So the first time I saw you, you know what happened. You were all pissed and shit. When you walked away I was like 'damn. She got a fatty' I didn't really think of fucking you, it was more like you'd be a nice fuck, but I ain't never seen you around so I figured it was a long shot. The next time I saw you, it was more of 'oh, so she lives around. I can hit that. Just needs a little more persuasion and I'm in' That's when I started talking to you. I than realized that you weren't as easy as I thought. That's when I thought of taking you out to dinner. I wanted to learn more about you. I ain't never spent so much time with a female and she ain't let me hit. So it was challenging and I liked that. A good challenge. I wanted to get to know you and when I finally did get to know you, I liked who you were. You aren't like this bitches out here. You aren't here for my money or looks and I liked that. You humble and kind. You get along with my kid, that's important to me and she likes you. You respectful, when my niggas are there you don't try acting cool in front of them acting outta character. Yeah, you nosey, but I guess that's a female thing. I don't like you to fuck you anymore, I like you for who you are inside. It's not about fucking you anymore."

Now I see why he said I must eat. This is definitely a lot to take in. I'm feeling a bit dizzy and all this information is overwhelming.

"That's a lot of information to take in. It's overwhelming. What are you saying Aug? That you don't want to sleep with me?"

It went silent for a few minutes. I looked at him waiting.

"I'm not here, because I still want to only fuck you, but I'm not saying I wouldn't want to. Listen, I'mma be honest. You sexy as fuck, ight? You beautiful, so I'm not going to sit here and lie to you and say I don't want to fuck you. I do, but I'm not going to force you and at the beginning the goal was to fuck you, but that's not the goal anymore."

I sigh, not knowing what to say. I sigh again.

"August..." I sigh. "I'm not going to lie and say I don't want you, I do, but Aug you hurt me. I- I don't... trust you anymore. I'm not in a position to be with someone right now. I'm a mess, I'm insecure about everything that has to do with Rita. I'm broken and I don't want you to suffer, because of what Drew did to me. I don't want you to mend my broken heart, I want to do that. I want to walk in a relationship strong, independent, wise, with knowledge and wisdom, with confidence Aug. I don't have anyone. My mom is gone and I don't know when Rose is coming back. You and I are not compatible. You are perfect, you have all this money. You have a mama and a big family. You so confident and you are strong. Aug I'm none of that."