VRO IMAGINES

DOUBLE LIFE PT. 2

A lone teardrop splattered onto her tattered notebook staining the paper she was conveying her thoughts and feelings into.

❝I lay awake, tears gathering behind my eyes, the ache in my heart worsening. The ache of yearning echoing in my body to be with you. I never knew missing you this much and not having you anymore would defeat my purpose of loving you

Her face was abundant in tears as she shakily put her pen down staring at what she wrote.

The very next day Aaraya expected to see Jahseh's BMW i8 parked in her driveway, but was very much disappointed when she peeped out her blinds and didn't see him parked in her cobblestone driveway. She called him genuinely concerned about his whereabouts and just wanted to know if he was okay, but each time she called the phone would either ring one or two times before she was met with his voicemail. It's now been a week and some days and here Aaraya sat in her living room with the lights dim, a glass of wine, and soft music playing in the background. This behavior was unlike Jahseh and it was affecting her mental health.

She was lonely in this big house without him and the silence was beginning to get maddening. She gulped her wine down tasting the tart flavor on the tip of her tongue and poured herself another one indulging herself by placing her lips on the rim of the glass taking a small sip. Aaraya only drank alcohol on social occasions, but she didn't know how to deal with the pain of not hearing from her lover so she resorted to alcohol hoping it would at least tame what she was feeling. She stood up and let the liquid flow down her throat. She sat the glass down on the table and flicked the lights off heading upstairs where she would shower and lay awake for the rest of the night.

An hour later Jahseh pulled up into the driveway and killed the engine pulling his keys out of the ignition. He shut the door to his car precisely and let his black air force ones smack along the stones of the driveway crunching the rocks under his shoe. He bent down and dug his hands through the flower pot full of soil. His bushy eyebrows creased not locating the spare key. He pulled his hand out and shook the soil off. Now his mind was racing about where the key could be. Brushing it off, he knocked on the door and awaited for the girl he loved to open the door. After a while, he could see a figure walking towards the door through the glass. He readjusted the snake ring around his finger as a comfortably dressed Aaraya came to the door. After seeing who it was, Aaraya kept a blank face and moved aside so that Jahseh could walk in, alerting him of an issue. As he walked in, he went to give her a peck as he had usually done when he came over, only to be pushed away.

"Yo, what the fuck is up with you?" he said through gritted teeth. "What do you mean nigga? You've been gone for almost two weeks and you expect me to just be all ecstatic to see you?" She yelled back at him, making him furiously wrap his broken ass fingers around her neck. She was taken aback by his actions but also slightly turned on, but pushed those feelings aside to deal with the present situation. She looked up at Jahseh with pain in her eyes and cleared her throat before she finally finished talking. "Where were you Jah? I needed you here" she cried, making him remove his hold on her neck and instead pull her into a hug,

"Look, I'm gonna explain what's happening but you gotta keep an open mind. Got it?" he whispered softly, while stroking the loose curls in her hair. Aaraya responded by nodding into his chest, while Jahseh sat them down on the couch. She pulled away from his arms and wiped her face, waiting to hear about why her boyfriend had been absent for such a long period of time with no communication. "Ok so, when I first started getting some money, there would always be some females around me." he paused for a minute, thinking about how to continue his story carefully. " And uhm, on a couple of occasions, I slept with those females" Aaraya rolled her eyes as he continued to stumble over his words, making her question the genuineness of what he was speaking. " So basically, one of them gets pregnant, and I already have a case tied to a woman, so I'm kinda in a- like a difficult situation at this point." he finally got out, making Aaraya raise her eyebrow, waiting for more of the story. Her breathing began to increase showing Jahseh that she was not liking where this story was headed, but he continued anyways. "So, I'm like in this fucked up situation, and niggas was lovin' to say that I don't respect or love women or whatever so when she posted her shit all over social media I had to say she was my girl. And that we was like together and shit when she was just a groupie. And the media ate that bullshit up. So then when the baby was born, she posted that shit too, which I told her not to, but anyways, I had to continue to act like I wanted her. So then my management at the time was pressin' me on some dumb shit, telling me to marry the girl or whatever. And I was like "Fuck no" at first but then she hit me with one of those "you wont be able to see your son" so I ended up having some dumbass wedding so she could be an "honest woman". Shits stupid." he finished, glancing up from his lap to see how Aaraya would react. She had calmed down substantially, and playing with her fingers.

"Are you lying to me Jahseh?" she asked in an unfitting harsh voice, making him more flustered. "Of course not, me and her are only together for my son at this point. I wanna be in his life and if I gotta pretend to love his momma to do that then-" "JAH, do you love the bitch or not. She has your kid, so be honest." he looked down, thinking about his next words. He opened his mouth, only to hold out his hand, making Aaraya confused. He pulled on his snake ring, twisting it until it came off of his middle finger and instead put it on his left ring finger. After this action, Aaraya knew truly where her lover's heart was and tears welled up in her eyes. "You can let yourself out. Have a nice life Jahseh" she cried, sitting up and ascending upstairs to her room. Alone.