Devilish

Chapter 67

Raiza’s POV

“I know you can be good, Harry.” I said, caressing his cheek. Harry seemed so lost and like he was having an inner battle. If he just let me in, I know I could ease his mind and pain. I could relieve him.

A demon with a heart? It may sound crazy but I believe in him. I saw something in his cold emerald eyes. A sparkle. There was a change in them like he has a tiny flame growing in them. Like he had feelings.

“Why are you still with me?” He suddenly asked me, jerking away from my touch. “I’ve always been alone.”

“Because I want to.”

“Haven’t you had enough, Raiza? You’re supposed to be sick of me.” Harry yelled. “Fuck, have a little of self respect!” 

“I do but I can’t stay away from you, Harry.” I was a little confused by his sudden change. Why was he acting like this? I thought we've already been through this.

“Why?” He asked, astonished. “You know I don’t have feelings towards anything. I don’t love, Raiza.”

My face went pale. “But I thought you and I-“

“You decided to take the ride. I mean, what? You actually thought you and I would live happily ever after, Raiza? That we were gonna ride off into the sunset?” The irony and mockery in his words felt like billion knives being stabbed in my heart. “Come on! No, you… you forgot who I was. And that’s not my fucking problem.” 

“You told me you loved me.” I was trying not to break down in front of him but it was hard. “We… We made love.”

“I like you, Raiza. You're in over your head and you're scared, and yet you look death in the eye without blinking. It's admirable, but it won't save you."

"You're just saying that because you're scared of something you have never felt before." I tried to take his hand but he didn't let me. "It's ok Harry. I'm scared too but-"

"STOP!" He yelled at me. I was taken aback by his reaction. "Just stop. I can't go on with this anymore."

I knew if I spoke my voice would crack but I couldn't not say anything. I was fighting for us yet Harry didn't seem to want the same as me.

“When I met you, my first thought was to stay away from you because you were nothing but troubles and evil. But then I looked into your eyes, and do you know what I saw there?" Harry just remained silent without even looking at me. "Not a soul, but the potential for one.” I said. “Now, all I see is darkness.”

“I’ve always been darkness, Raiza.” Harry's voice seemed absent, like he really didn't care about what I was saying or feeling. “You thought you could change me the way I changed you.” 

“You didn’t change me, Harry” I corrected him. “You made me love you.” 

“And love can change humans.” He gave me a blank look and shook his head. “If you have forgotten, I’m not one.”

“It was all a lie, though. An act. What does it matter now, right?” I shrugged. I could feel the tears streaming down my face but I just didn't have the strenght anymore. I was done. “Go ahead and rip my heart out, if you think that's what love’s all about.” I grabbed his hand and put it on the left side of my chest. “I’m tired of always getting hurt. I don’t want a soft heart anymore so you might as well rip it.”

"Having a soft heart in a cruel world is courage, not weakness." Harry caressed my hand and the look in his eyes softened. "It’s safe to be cynical. It’s easy to be critical. It’s not hard to hide. But to keep your heart tender, to reach out to those who hurt you, to keep on loving? That is fierce. And wild."

I laughed bitterly. “What do you know, Harry? You said it yourself. You don’t have feelings. You don’t love.” Now this time I was the one who jerked away from his touch. It hurt. “And yeah maybe you’re right and I’m naive, but guess what? That helped me find happiness with you, even if it was just for a few seconds and turned out to be a lie.”

“Raiza.”

“Just go, Harry.” I said defeated. We were just going in circles and one of us needed to end it. “Go and leave me alone. You wanted me to have self-respect? Well I’m doing that right now. Go.”

Without even looking at me Harry stood on the edge of the window and jumped out, taking with him all the memories I had and my broken heart.

I fell to the ground crying, but I really didn't feel anything; I was numb. It was just a sick twisted game he had been playing; saying one day he loved me and then the other that he didn't. At first thought maybe Harry was scared and confused because he never had felt something like love but now I'm not sure anymore, and I don't know if I can go through another heartbreak one again.

The demon corrupted my soul till the last inch of it; he made me believed he loved me and could be good. And now he just left me feeling lost and without direction, his love was consuming and as addicting and harmful as a cigarette, yet I couldn't seem to get him out of my mind. 

This always happens to me. I trust the wrong people and end up getting hurt. I'm tired of this, I'm done. I give up, I seriously give up. I don't want to get hurt anymore. No one had effected me so much like Harry did, that much to make me feel like I do right now. Like some piece of shit with nothing left of who she was.

There was only one way to end this, this misery, and I'm not going to waste anymore more time. If they wanted my soul that much, they can have it because I don't want it anymore. I'm already dead on the inside, I just needed to get rid off the carnal and material vessel that was holding me back.

...

Guys!

I just wanted to let you know that the next chapters might be the last ones so be prepared because the end is coming. *Dramatic music starts playing in the background*

I love you! x

PS: THANK YOU SO SO SO SOOOO MUCH FOR 2M READS! YOU'RE THE BEST INDIVIDUALS IN THE GALAXY <3