The Journey of a Broken Heart

Chapter 46: LAURA

(sorry everyone for the long break. I wasn't able to post because this was my situation:

'In shower': Builds a perfect scene that fits the plot.

'In online class': Builds up a perfect dialogue prompt.

'Laying in bed': Finds perfect characters to play the scene.

'Sitting in front of the computer screen to write: Wut ere vurdz?

Hope this explains a bit lol)

Lynn is currently in the operation room. I really hope that everything goes alright. None of us could afford a mistake, a bad news.

Mom is pacing the hospital lobby frantically while dad is at the cafeteria buying her coffee. She wanted me to go home because I have stayed here continuously for so long but I did not agree to it. We may as well have had a wrestling match if dad didn't step in between. We agreed with me saying that when Lynn wakes up she will ask for me.

He is so positive about this whole thing. I wish I was a little more hopeful like him. Or it may be that he is only pretending to be positive but he may actually be breaking inside.

"Laura?" Dad said breaking me from my thoughts. He was offering me a sand which and a cup of coffee. I accepted it. I never really liked drinking coffee as I have previously told but in these two to three days coffee has become my best friend.

I ate my food because I was so hungry that my stomach was almost making whale like noises. After finishing my sandwich I stood up and walked around the hospital lobby. It is a little over eight in the night. Lynn's surgery started a little over an hour ago and it will go for two more hours. These three and a half hours may actually be the most stressful three and a half hours of my life.

George came in the evening with Olivia to visit. George bought Lynn some flowers. He tried to engage me into a conversation to distract me but I was so stressed up that I couldn't even utter a single word. I am still guilty that we didn't celebrate his birthday nicely and that I never even gave him a present but I promise that I will make it up to him.

I didn't even notice that as I was wandering around I came in front of the hospital's Children's room.

The last time I came here was with Lynn on her last doctor's appointment. I still remember that day clearly. I bought her a piece of chocolate. I also remember the smart bickering that was going on between the two sisters. I also remember what happened later that day. The turning point of this all.

I entered the Children's room. Last time I was here there were quite a lot of people inside but today it is much less crowded. It actually is only me and no one else. Other than any ghosts that is.

I don't know why no one is here as it is still open but before I could over think it I went inside and closed the door behind me.

I went over to sit at the table I sat with Lynn the last time I was here. All the games and machines are still running.

I just sat there in the calm of the silence reliving all the best times I had with Lynn in my head. How her eyes crinkle when she smiles, how she used to squeeze into her favorite jeans before we learned about her cancer. She never let me throw away that pair even though it wasn't even her size at the time she used to wear it.

*How she would scrunch her nose like a rabbit when she doesn't like something. How she used the analyze everything. How patient she is. She thinks that I don't notice these little things but I do. The way she laughs, cries, smiles, talks everything. The shy way that she tells me how much she loves me in simple ways.

I love her so much more than she loves me. She means everything to me, she is my world. I really don't want her to stop smiling; I want her to be with me forever.

So, I silently prayed as I was crying praying for everything to be alright. I prayed that she becomes alright. That this surgery is fruitful. I prayed for her health and comfort. I prayed for my own. I prayed that whatever happens it is good and that it takes Lynn out of this pain. I prayed that she stays with me for the rest of my life. That her heart beats beside mine.

I cried my own tears of despair. I know that I should be a little more positive but all I am doing right now are making up conclusions and scenarios in my head that are too off from the reality but they seem so real to me. Everything. It is because there are just a lot of what ifs.

What if this happens? What if that happens? I think it is true that humans hurt themselves most in their own imagination.

*(Okay while i was writing the 'How she would scrunch her nose' Paragraph (and the paragraph above it) ALL I kept thinking about was One Direction's Little Things (linked it up there). I think The Boys are invading my life... and I LOVE it

I WANT THEM TO COME BACK!!!! *cries.... in a cool way*)

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