Toxic - Luke Hemmings

Chapter 30

Izzy's POV

I started on my walk back to Brett's, which was literally just a straight line for a half hour. I was freezing, so I crossed my arms tightly around my chest to try to keep my body warmer. My head was clearer than before, which was usually the case after getting unnecessarily hysterical. I knew I was making things worse than they should be, so I just suppressed all my wild fears and kept walking.

When headlights came around a small bend, I didn't pay mind to it. It wasn't until the car pulled over and I saw it was Luke's that I stopped. He stepped out and just stared at me, and if I was watching correctly, he had an amused look on his face. I slowly walked up to him in the middle of the street, seeing the amusement turn into a full-blown smile.

"What's wrong with you?" I asked, confused by why any of what happened was making him smile. I also didn't know how he knew where I was.

"Sophie called me." He chuckled, biting at his lip ring. My eyes went wide, praying she didn't spill everything we talked about.

"What did she tell you?" I asked nervously.

"That you were an idiot and to come pick you up." He said bluntly, making me stand there and awkwardly look at him and look away repeated. "Just get in the car." He laughed, putting a hand on my shoulder and pushing me toward the hood to go around.

We sat in silence for most of the 5-minute drive. I just watched out the window, realizing how close to the house I actually was. When he parked in the drive way he didn't go to open the door, so we sat there for a minute with him just smiling at me weirdly.

"Did you have a nice break down?" He asked sarcastically.

"Yeah." I told him quietly, mentally slapping Sophie across the face for telling him more than she should have.

"Can we talk then?" He asked, getting back to being a little more serious.

"Yeah." I said quietly again.

"What's really wrong? Because I know it's not the car." He pointed out.

"I... am..." I forced the words out, probably sounding like I didn't know how to talk. "Scared. I'm running away like a bitch because the car was more than just a car." I blurted it out, pointing a finger at him toward the end and definitely sounding like a crazy person.

"You're scared because the car is more than a car?" He chuckled, but I knew he knew what I meant. He just wanted me to say it. I closed my eyes, scrunching my nose as I prepared to get more specific.

"It just freaked me out. This." I used my hand to motion between the two of us. "This, freaks me out!" I raised my voice, just saying it and getting out of the way.

"You wanted this." He said, mimicking the way I had just said it. "You called me out when I was being an ass, now it's my turn. If I freaked you out, I'm sorry. I want to be with you and if this got too serious too fast, then I can slow it down for you. But you can't just push me away." He looked genuinely hurt as he finished with a slight frown.

"I'm sorry." I told him, knowing that he was 100% right.

"I don't want an apology, Izz. I just want to know what's going on." He said compassionately, leaning over the center console to put his hand on my cheek.

"I'm scared that you're going to leave me." I whispered, turning my head completely in his direction and leaning it on the head rest. I stared nervously at the arm rest in between us, not wanting to meet his eyes after that admission.

"I'm not going anywhere." He said, slightly amused by that being the root of all this.

"You say that now, but shit happens." I was frustrated with myself for not being able to communicate how I felt. I wanted to come right out and say it, but there was a mental block holding me back. I pulled my knees up so my feet were on the edge of the seat, dropping my face into them out of irritation. "I just want to be able to tell you!"