Toxic - Luke Hemmings

Chapter 59

Izzy's POV

I woke up in a cold sweat and shot up, breaking out of Luke's arms. I checked my phone to see it was one in the afternoon, so at least I slept a solid 7 hours. Luke groggily sat up and held onto me again while I tried to calm my breathing, but it was difficult to get the images out of my head from the nightmares I had been having all night. He kept trying to tell me it was just a dream, but the dream replayed what happened last night, and that was real.

"We're home, baby. Everything's fine." He said one last time, rubbing my back as I finally managed to relax.

"I'm sorry." I told him quietly. He just shook his head and kissed my forehead.

"No, you have nothing to be sorry for." He held me for a few more moments, but when we heard rustling from downstairs we pulled away. "Come shower with me." He said, crawling over to my side of the bed to help me up.

I felt like shit. This wasn't the kind of gross feeling I got with a hangover, or even after the night Jaime attacked me. I felt like the disgust was within me, and no amount of showering could get it off. We stripped down regardless, and he helped me into the shower and let me stand under the hot water for a second. It made every muscle in my body stop tensing, but my mind was still running at a mile a minute.

"You saved my life, Izz. Stop beating yourself up." Luke said, coming up behind me and wrapping his arms around my stomach. He rested his chin on my shoulder, letting some of the water hit his face.

"I just don't understand why it had to be in exchange for his." I said quietly, making him flip me around to face him.

"The world doesn't always work on the divine line of right and wrong. I didn't want him to die either, but he had to so I can be standing here with you." He cupped my face in his hands before he continued. "Keenan wasn't a good person, Izz. He had his own blood on his hands. The only difference was that he did it for sport."

"He's the one that poisoned me." I whispered, finally thinking back to the heated discussion Luke had with him at gun point.

"He started picking us off so he could get a bigger paycheck. And as much as I wanted to talk him down, there's nothing anyone could have said to make him put the gun down." His tattooed arm snaked behind my back and pulled me into him, while the other stayed on the side of my head. He lowered his forehead to mine, and I closed my eyes as I tried to forgive myself.

"Is this when you admit I was right for following you." I chuckled, and he did the same in response.

"You're a badder bitch than I thought." He laughed, and I gently shoved him away in protest.

"I'm expecting an engraved pink gun so I can go on rounds with you." I laughed.

"Pink? Since when do you like pink?" He asked, pushing me out of the way so he could actually get under the water. I picked up my shampoo and started lathering it in my hair.

"Okay, fine. What color, then?" I asked, excited that he hadn't argued the fact that I said I was coming on rounds from now on.

"I'd say black, but that's not exactly different from stock." He laughed, but the gears started turning in his head. "Do you really want a gun?"

"Yes. You obviously need a wing man, so." I said sarcastically, and his jaw dropped in shock.

"I don't need a wing man! Get off your high horse!" He shouted, making me laugh even harder.

We finished washing up and dried off so we could get dressed and run downstairs. I wasn't sure how long everyone had been up, but when we peeked into the guest room Ash and Sophie were already down there. I threw sweat pants and a tee on, and after combing my hair I followed Luke downstairs. Without groceries in the house we just sat around drinking coffee until we were too hungry to stand it.