Toxic - Luke Hemmings

Chapter 80

Izzy's POV

After that night, Mike and I were in limbo. I couldn't really talk to him without feeling this disgustingly uncomfortable pit in my stomach, and now he didn't want to push it again. I shouldn't have done anything, and now that Ash and Sophie knew it felt like the whole world did. I begged them not to tell Calum, out of fear that he would run right to Luke, and they understood completely.

I went back home and told my mom everything, and she let me cry about Luke one last time. I gave it to myself, but after I wiped my face dry, I made a promise that I'd never let myself cry over him again. I was just glad that the semester was pretty much over, and that I wouldn't have to go back to visit them until the beginning of January when I moved in too. I got texts from Mike almost every day, and I tried to answer him but it would end up turning into sending a couple replies and leaving him on read.

I spent my birthday and Christmas with my mom, and we kept ourselves busy between those and New Year's. I spent the holidays at home for the first time in over five years, and it was amazing. We got a Christmas tree and decorated it together, and for my birthday we did exactly what I had suggested. We got an Uber to a bar and got drinks together, and when we got home we raided the kitchen and ate on the couch watching movies.

I was packing up all the stuff I needed to go back to campus, since I was leaving tomorrow. Move in day was the Saturday before classes started, so this whole week I got together all the things for my dorm and saved the clothing and miscellaneous things for today. My mom was at work until 5, but when she got home she helped me finish packing. She took me to dinner one last time before the semester started, and once we got home I had to go right to bed so I could make it to school by 10 in the morning.

I was ready to jump back into the real world and school work, but I couldn't shake the nervousness I still felt. I was hoping to feel better about it come morning, but when I woke up even more anxious I ended up taking my meds. There wasn't much else I could do, so I had coffee with my mom for a while before I had to say good bye.

She'd been my rock the last six months, and leaving her was the hardest part. I could already see myself calling her constantly, ranting about anything and everything just so I could hear her voice. I wouldn't have her shoulder to lean on when I was on campus, and I knew I was definitely going to need it since I was being thrown back into the group fully.

The whole drive there was a blur, since I literally just blasted music and zoned out. By the time I was pulling up in the parking lot it was a little after 10, but I wasn't even worried about moving in a little later than I was supposed to. I took my time bringing all my stuff up and getting it all organized, and I thanked god that I could get a single again. I wouldn't have been able to deal with another person sharing my space.

It took all day for me to set everything up, but everyone else was getting back into their same rooms so they didn't really have to do much. As if right on que, Sophie texted me to ask how progress was coming. I let her know that I had just finished, so she told me to meet them in the dining hall for dinner.

I slid my phone into my pocket and threw my jacket on, walking through the thin layer of snow that covered the sidewalks as it flurried around me. I got a plate and found them all sitting in the corner, and as soon as Sophie saw me her face lit up.

"Howdy, stranger!" She yelled as I was still several feet away.

"Hey." I laughed, watching as everyone turned to look at me. I hadn't seen Calum in over a month since he was MIA the last time I visited, so I put my plate down and went to hug him first. After making the rounds, and exchanging a very awkward hug with Mike, I plopped down into the seat next to Sophie.